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POLITICAL, satire, TOP NEWS

Joe Biden ” I’m ready to tackle the fiscal clit “

As President Obama is out of the country visiting Asia, Vice President Joe Biden filled in and gave the  weekly press conference in the Oval Office yesterday. Lovable Joe went off script when asked about the looming fiscal cliff and reporters were delighted as the gaff machine put his foot in his mouth again and again.

Joe Biden shows how big the fiscal clit is.

Joe Biden shows reporters just how big the fiscal clit is.

Q. Mr. Vice President, can you tell us how important it is to this administration that the fiscal cliff issue gets resolved.

A. Look, everybody is all nervous about the fiscal clit. I realize that this clit thing is a hot topic right now but there’s no need to panic. this isn’t the first clit that we’ve seen and I’m confidant that if we handle it properly, the job will get done and everybody will be happy. But first, we need to figure this thing out and  it must be handled properly. I’ve had some success in this area. I did done it before myself once back in 2008 and before that in 1992. This one is certainly the biggest one we’ve had to deal with, but we’ve got six weeks to diddle around with this thing.

Q. What are the chances of a bipartisan resolution happening?

A. We’re hoping the Republicans will come to the table and help us because God knows we need their help but in my experience, you can’t rush headlong into these things. We’ve got to roll up our sleeves, get under the hood, and get in there and have at it. In order to get the job done it takes time and everybody is going to have put a penny in the pot. It’s going to require a lot of back and forth, quite a bit of tongue wagging from both sides and maybe some back door negotiation.

Q. As we get closer to the deadline, do you think that the GOP will be forced to surrender some of their demands?

A. As we get closer to the clit, we need to exercise restraint. If we get too excited and lose focus, we could pass by it and we’ll  end up in a hole. It could end up being a big stinking mess. It’s going to take some tweaking to get this going but I’m confident that we can get the job done.

Q. A recent study by the national Organization for Women shows that when it comes to negotiating in important matters that women are better equipped to do the job. Do you think we need more women in Washington?

A. I don’t think we need more women in Washington I mean Christ, I see them on every street corner all the time so my answer to that is no. However women are better at handling some things. They certainly have more experience handling small things like the fical clit. Some of them are used to dealing with these things every day and that is why I’ve suggested that we put Secretary of Steak Hillary Clinton on the job because we all know that she’s had experience in dealing with these things and she’s done it all over the world with all kinds of people.

Q. You said that women are better than men in some things. Can you give us one example?

A. Ummmm…..Lesbians. Women make the better lesbians than men.

Q. If we go past the deadline, who will be to blame?

A. Let’s remember though that it was the Republicans who came up with the clit in the first place and here it is now on the table and we need to get it off. We need to get it off and we need to get it off fast. We can take care of this thing but we have to try to come together. That’s the key here. We all have to come together.

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About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket

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