Nobody Hurt After Elderly Driver Fails To Crash Into Donut Shop

Tampa police say that no damage was caused last Tuesday, when an elderly woman drove her car out of the parking lot of the Dinky-Do donut shop in Tampa. Officials say that the 82-year-old driver, identified as Margaret Turner of nearby Tickhaven, correctly picked which pedal was the brake in her Toyota Camry and was able to successfully navigate out of the parking area without plowing through the front window of the establishment.

“ It’s amazing that nobody was hurt,” said officer Pete Shad. “ Mrs Turner has stated that she didn’t get confused and drove home without incident. We get 3 or 4 calls a week that some elderly person has somehow managed to drive off without causing damage. It’s an epidemic.”

Shop owner Santo Papito said that he intends to file a suit against Mrs. Turner following the incident. Papito said that he recently had concrete barriers installed around the perimeter in his establishment after it was plowed into 32 times by elderly drivers. The project cost him over $50,000 dollars.

“My insurance rates are through the roof and I spent a lot of money bunkering my storefront and now these people are just going to just drive off without hitting anything?”, asked Papito. “I’ve got too much invested to let this happen again. Somebody has to be responsible for her safe driving habits.”

Police say that the Turner has a long history of excellent driving. In 1982 she did not drive her vehicle into the Gulf of Mexico while parking at a Clearwater boardwalk. In 2001, Turner aroused the  suspicions of police,when she was spotted driving the speed limit, but was not charged at that time. In 2003, she, was driving a vehicle with 3 passengers on board when she stopped at a yellow light irritating the driver behind her. Police said the other driver had a conniption and hurled obscenities at her. In 2006, Turner used the correct turn signal when pulling off the Honeybee Highway while on her way to the Winning Widow Bingo hall. Then in 2010, Orlando police said she successfully parallel parked her vehicle on a busy city street and completely missing a group of confused tourists from Wisconsin.


About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket


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