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TOP NEWS, TRAVEL

Bird Strikes Prompt FAA To Fast Track New Jetliner

Boeing Aircraft unveiled a new commercial aircraft designed to scare away birds during takeoffs and landings, this after two commercial jetliners, filled with terrified passengers, were forced to make emergency landings after the planes were crippled by bird-strike damage. The FAA has spent nearly four billion Dollars developing the new NightStalker aircraft and recently, under pressure from the Obama administration, gave its final stamp of approval, allowing Boeing to ship the jetliner to waiting customers.

Since 1970, bird-strikes have caused millions of Dollars in damage and cost 112 lives. Last Tuesday, a Jet Blue flight departing Huntsville International Airport slammed into a chicken which had been eating grasshoppers on the tarmac. The flight was forced to return just as passengers ears popped. Although nobody was injured during the collision, the chicken was injured when the jets front wheel ran over 5 of its 6 toes. The hen, under advice from its attorney, has filed a lawsuit against Jet Blues for lost wages, mental anguish and veterinary bills.

Workers at Boeing’s Seattle plant watch as the new Nightstalker passenger jet takes off and heads off to customers on the East Coast. The new aircraft was developed to scare birds and reduce bird strike accidents.

Two days later, a Delta flight carrying 212 passengers hit a flock of geese while approaching Tampa airport. Seventeen geese were sucked into an engine, stripped of their feathers and fell into the backyard of Darlene Jefferson, a born again Christian.

” I’ve been out of work for 14 months and I had no food in the icebox,” said Mrs Jefferson. “I prayed to the Lord for help and next thing I know, he delivered seventeen of the biggest chickens I even seen, right to my house. It’s a miracle. Praise Jesus! ”

The Nightstalker aircraft was developed at Boeing’s Seattle WA. plant and the cost of each plane is about 200 million Dollars. The aircraft is reportedly very quiet in flight but continues to have problems such as an unexplained tendency to swoop down when flying over rodents.

The FAA has been working for decades on ways to eliminate bird strikes. Opponents to the Nightstalker aircraft say that the government wasted taxpayers money on the aircraft.

” Why has the FAA wasted so much money on this problem? “, questioned Paul Frusher, a spokesman for Citizens For Taxpayer Defense. “The Yoko Ono Bird Dissipation Program (  Find more on this story here –  http://thedailycricket.com/2011/10/18/yoko-ono-voice-finds-commercial-applications/ ) has been used at airports successfully for years and costs about twelve Dollars.”

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About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket

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