Michelle Obama: “The next one who calls me an angry black woman is going to get their ass kicked!”

Michelle Obama continues to deny that she is an angry black woman.

First Lady Michelle Obama held a news conference yesterday to address allegations that she is “an angry black woman.” Despite her efforts to portray herself as “strong but kind,” her temper got the best of her and the press conference was shut down after she became verbally and physically abusive with reporters.

After repeated questioning about her temper, which was exposed in a recently published book, Mrs. Obama retorted, “You keep asking me if I’m an angry black woman. I’ll tell you something: I AM getting very angry right now…with you. I have answered the damn question, now sit the fuck DOWN!”

In a recent tell-all book by former White House staff member, Susan Jusser, the First Lady is described as “a controlling tyrant, the ultimate angry black woman.”

Jusser writes that the First Lady is known as “Black Mamba” by White House staffers, and everybody keeps as far away from her as possible. Several interns were known to faint from fear when the First Lady passed by them in a hallway. Dozens of staffers have quit because they found her to be abrasive and abusive.

Last week, Bill Daley, the White House Chief of Staff, resigned because of ongoing feuds with the First Lady. Before him, Rahm Emanuel was the Chief of Staff. Sources close to the Oval Office say that Emanuel and the First Lady  had a fist-fight during an Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn and the First lady won the brawl.

When Treasury Secretary Ben Bernanke said that he would not put Barack Obama likeness on the new one dollar bill, Michelle convinced him to reconsider by punching him in the eye.

Vice president Joe Biden, who gets his schedule from her and can’t do anything–even pick out his own shoes–without her consent, comments, “To say Michelle is demanding is an understatement. The bitch has no soul.”

Jusser says that there are countless examples of Michelle’s temper flaring-up and causing distress in the White House. In one instance, Jusser says that Michelle Obama became livid when watermelon was served at a State dinner. She fired the entire kitchen staff, even the dishwasher.

According to Jusser, Michelle began to exert her authority soon after the Obamas moved into the White House. When she first met the White House staff, she told the group, “I am your Queen Bitch. As long as you do exactly as I say, we won’t have any problems.”

During an initial meeting with the transition team to discuss her decorating preferences, one of the interior designers disagreed with the First Lady’s choice of window treatments. She took a pistol from a Secret Service agent and shot the designer in the kneecaps. As he lay bleeding and screaming in pain, Michelle pointed to the blood-soaked carpet and said coldly, “O.K. now…let’s talk about changing the carpet in this room.”

Reporter Mike Stevens with the New York Times had his nose bitten clean off  by Michelle Obama after he asked the First Lady if she considers herself an “angry black woman.”

Insiders say that Michelle Obama often advises the President on important matters, and becomes upset if he doesn’t do as she wishes.

“Those in the inner circle nicknamed the President “short leash” because of the hold Michelle has on him,” wrote Jusser. “Michelle Obama is really running this country. Nothing happens without her approval.”

About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket


7 thoughts on “Michelle Obama: “The next one who calls me an angry black woman is going to get their ass kicked!”

  1. A lot of the funny stories on this site aren’t funny at all – but this one had me LOL.

    Posted by John Mann | January 28, 2012, 1:57 pm
  2. Is this article for real? I can’t imagine the first lady is actually treating people so badly. The biting off the nose of a reporter and shooting the designer on his kneecaps, she is just too much. Didn’t even give people some basic respect. However, I still have doubts about this article though. Some of the story might be made up by people.

    Posted by I love Justin bieber | April 21, 2012, 5:34 am
  3. None of these stories in this article are real…are you kidding me, you believe this stuff? Think of it as SNL. Check where you get your news from…not hear obviously.

    Posted by Anonymous | February 4, 2013, 5:12 pm
  4. I think this website has got some real excellent info for everyone. “Billy T-T-T-T-Today, Junior” by Billy Madison

    Posted by cheap thomas s | March 23, 2013, 3:48 am
  5. omg this is hilarious………….. better than SNL

    Posted by Melanie Stewart | October 4, 2013, 7:50 am
  6. I had to come back to read this three times already.. SNL needs to hire you.

    Posted by Melanie Stewart | October 5, 2013, 7:53 am

    Posted by Loveliladi | November 8, 2014, 4:54 pm

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