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Giselle Found Alive At Home!

Future Queen of Giselledom got lost in her spacious mansion

After three days missing, Giselle Brady has been found alive in her new California home.

Last Thursday, Brentwood police received a 911 call from a frantic Giselle saying that she was lost without food or water. Emergency responders spent four hours searching the Brady’s new 115-room mansion. When they did not locate her, they issued a missing-persons alert and notified the FBI.

On Friday morning, 600 volunteers and a team of search dogs began an intensive sweep of the home and the grounds. They combed the 15-acre compound until dusk, when helicopters equipped with infrared cameras took over the search from overhead. Hope began to dwindle as no signs of Giselle were found.

Then, on Sunday morning, 74 hours after she disappeared, Giselle was located by a housekeeper in the men’s locker room of the 20,000-square-foot gymnasium. She was dehydrated and had lost three pounds.

“I am so grateful!” exclaimed the emaciated model, “I’ve lost so much weight. I’m a size 000 now! I have a lot to be thankful for.“

The Brady’s new mansion took three years to construct and is the largest structure in California. The custom-built home includes a full-size indoor football field, an observatory, a 300-seat IMAX theater, an indoor roller coaster, a private shopping mall, a hair and nail salon, a butterfly reserve, and a four-million-gallon salt-water tank with live dolphins and a mature humpback whale.

It also houses a museum for Tom Brady’s private collection of football memorabilia, including the exhumed body of Vince Lombardi.

The grounds include a mink farm, helipad, 36-hole golf course, motor speedway, canal system, and a game reserve for extinct animals that boasts a breeding pair of unicorns and a flock of passenger pigeons.

According to court documents filed last month, Brady is attempting to annex “Giselledom” from the State of California and create a fiefdom.

The infield track of the Brady Speedway will feature a food market, bazaar and daily circus.

“We have a charter written up. We are taking applications for serfs, knaves, underlords and peasants. Right now we can accept only 2,000 minions. Upper-titled positions such as knights, barons and land-mongers are for sale on eBay. We are getting a great response and I promise to be a fair, but cruel, king,” stated Brady.

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About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket

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