Mexican immigration officials apologized for releasing X-ray photographs that allegedly showed over 500 illegal immigrants headed for the US in two crowded tractor trailers. The X-rays were, in fact, nothing more than New York commuters packed like rats into a transit car.
“I was horrified when I heard about those poor people in the trailers. What kind of people could treat another human being like that?” asked International Human Rights Vice President Sandy Bernhart. “There were no restrooms, no water or fresh air. I was so relieved when I found out that it was just American workers riding in a subway car. They don’t mind the deplorable conditions because they do it every day.”
Every morning, 20 million coughing, irritable New Yorkers jam themselves into the last 26 functioning subways cars run by the Transit Authority and make the demoralizing journey into New York City. Subway cars designed to accommodate 120 passengers will often carry 800 people.
“Normally we can squeeze 600-800 people in a car. New Yorkers don’t mind it though ‘cuz they like everybody, especially strangers,” said Raggo DiVirgilio, a 20-year veteran of the NYCTA. “A couple years ago we got over 3,000 people in one car. They’re still in there as far as I can tell. We couldn’t get them out.”
Help and donations poured in from across the globe as the story went world-wide. Food, water, temporary shelters and job offers poured in to aid the immigrants. A Mexican immigration official said that, “When we announced that we had made a mistake about the X-ray, that it was Americans packed in the cars, everybody said ‘Americans? Oh. Fuck them!’ and pulled-back all the offered aid.”