Federal prosecutors on Wednesday arrested and charged a 12-month-old with interfering with a flight crew after the baby caused a disturbance during a British Airways flight bound for London.
The US Attorney’s Office in New York said Charles “Charlie” Burns, of Alexandria, VA refused to obey flight attendants’ repeated requests to remain seated, and ultimately forced the plane to land after pooping in his diaper.
Passengers said that the baby caused problems before the flight left JFK Airport.
“I saw him sitting in the airport bar drinking gin and tonics before we boarded. That kid was drunk. After we boarded,he was crawling under seats and began to argue with flight attendants when they wouldn’t serve him alcohol. The mother fucker was sitting behind me, kicking the back of the seat,” said fellow passenger Sister Mary Fernbar. “I hate that kid.”
Soon into the flight, Charlie began to act up again. He was visibly agitated and began squirming in his seat.
“The mother unbuckled him and he crawled under every seat again, rifling through pocketbooks and teething on people’s ankles,” said Sister Mary. “He tried to breastfeed on some of the female passengers. Then, somewhere over Jersey, he crapped his diaper. The stench was so bad that the oxygen masks dropped down from overhead. People gasped and clawed at their throats. We thought maybe there was an electrical fire in the toilet. I prayed to God that we would die.”
Twenty-eight people jumped out the emergency exit door while the aircraft was still in flight.. Police are searching for the bodies.
“That little prick crawled under the privacy curtain and headed into first class,” said flight attendant Raquel Thomas. “We asked him repeatedly to return to his seat, but he kept on going. The Federal Marshall tasered him, but it had no effect. We think he was hyped-up on chocolate milk.”
When Charlie drooled on the cockpit door,flight attendants attempted to capture him but he was able to hold them off by swinging the dirty diaper at them. At one point he became distracted by the in-flight movie and five passengers lunged at him and subdued him after a brief struggle. The tot was put in plastic handcuffs and attendants stuffed him, and the odoriferous diaper, into the cargo hold.
The flight made an emergency landing at JFK International Airport, where the crumb-snatcher was carried off the plane by police. Thirty-six passengers were brought to local hospitals for shortness of breath and irritation to eyes, nose and throat.
Burns faces a variety of charges, including disrupting a flight, kicking the back of a seat, multiple assault charges and possession of a loaded diaper. Burns told investigators that he was not responsible for his actions, saying that he was in extreme pain.
“I’m only a year old,” he said. “I didn’t know how to make my ears pop and my teeth were killing me. As far as crapping my pants goes, I do it for the attention.”
If convicted, he faces up to 20 years in a playpen and a $250,000 fine.