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CELEBRITIES

Indian Ocean Vomits Osama’s Body, Suing US Navy For Damages

Shark died after feeding on Osama's body.

Shark died after feeding on Osama's body.

Citing “intense pain and suffering,” the Indian Ocean filed a law suit in international court today against the US Navy, after the Navy dumped the body of Osama Bin Laden into it. The Ocean retained the services of maritime law firm Silverstein, Goldberg and O’Sullivan.

In a statement released earlier today, a spokesperson for the Ocean’s attorneys stated, “Since its involuntary swallowing of the body of Osama Bin Laden, our client has suffered extreme intestinal discomfort and negative physical effects, due to the illegal disposal of 164 pounds of rancid terrorist waste. Yesterday afternoon, after hours of painful waves of nausea, Ocean suffered a terrible case of rogue swells and eventually puked-up the body of Bin Laden onto a Pakistani beach. Our client seeks damages, but the damage already done will have long-lasting and severe repercussions.”

Death slick worries Pakistani fishermen.

Death slick worries Pakistani fishermen.

Four days ago, the US Navy flew the body of Osama Bin Laden to the USS Vinson. After examinations, the body was wrapped in canvas and dropped into the Ocean. Pakistani and Indian fisherman are now reporting huge numbers of dead marine life.

Pakistani fisherman Shanteri Kapulibi told reporters, “The only fish here are dead. The others have all run away. The water smells like sewerage. Everything is dying. Today, we saw a shark eating the body of Bin Laden and the shark, he got very sick. He threw up and died right there. What are we going to do now? Who, besides the Koreans, is going to eat these rotten fish?”

Aerial photos show a 300-square-mile slick on the water. Everything below it has died. Thousands of sharks, dolphins and fish are floating in the slick.

Woods Hole marine biologist, Dr. Tracy Bonner, said that the environmental impact will continue to devastate the area and it will take years to recover.

“This is worse than the BP spill. The stench is unbearable. What was the Navy thinking? They know it is against international law to dump trash into the ocean.”

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About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket

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