Andrew Zimmern Eats His Own Balls

Bizarre Foods host, Andrew Zimmern, prepares to eat his own testicles.

Chef, writer and culinary explorer Andrew Zimmern has traveled the globe seeking the most unusual and interesting foods he can find. Yet, the sweaty host of The Travel Channel’s culinary adventure show, Bizarre Foods, had to go back to New York to eat his own testes.

“Zimmern Oysters are not really oysters, but rather they are the testicles of a Zimmern…in this case, mine,” said the snaggle-tooth host. “My high school gym teacher was the first person I know to try them. After that, there was a college roommate who loved them, but since then I haven’t met anybody who had even heard of  them. So I came back to New York to see if I could find them. There, I was led to a reputed mobster hangout known as the Gino Villa Ristorante. The chefs there have a lot of knowledge when it comes to cutting off a guy’s balls.”

Zimmern was brought into the kitchen, where he drank the customary bottle of whiskey, because there is no anesthesia used when cutting the testicles off a “bull.” After a few hours he was led into a corral, where his head was trapped in a  wooden gate as the chef expertly cut off his testicles. In keeping with local tradition, the area was splashed with whiskey to disinfect it, and Zimmern’s balls were quickly rinsed with vinegar. They were then put in a stew pot containing tomatoes, onion, garlic, scallions, and local herbs and spices. After a few hours they were ready to eat.

“When I bit into them, they had an earthy, coppery, pungent flavor that I love,” said the overweight eater. “The outer membrane was fatty and chewy, but once you get past that, there is a creamy, buttery, meaty center…sort of like lamb. Delicious. The only problem I have with these is that once I start eating them, I just want more.”


About Bobby Bou

Editor of The Daily Cricket


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: