Southerby’s of New York announced today they have sold the Elvis Turd at auction for a record 1.2 million dollars. The Elvis Turd was recovered from the crime scene where the King of Rock and Roll was discovered dead in his private bathroom at Graceland Mansion.
Elvis Presley died unexpectedly in August of 1977 at his home in Nashville under suspicious circumstances. He was discovered by a staff member who upon finding Mr Presley , face down and naked on the bathroom floor naked remarked, “Bah-Jesus! Mr Elvis. You shore got sum flabby buttocks !”
Nashville police arrived at the scene of Mr Presley’s death and upon finding the turd in the toilet bowl, retrieved it as evidence.
“At the time we weren’t sure if this was an accidental death or a homicide so we fished the poop out of the toilet bowl and bagged it. We were just being thorough. For all we knowed, he may have been hit on the head with it.” ,said Nashville Sheriff Pete Brucker. ” When the coroner determined that Elvis’s death was accidental, well we just kinda forgot it was in the evidence locker. For years we thought we had a dead rat somewhere in the building but we could never find it.”
Then in 2008 while cataloging the evidence room, the turd was rediscovered by a rookie police officer.
“Hell, I just thought it was a candy bar or somethin’ till I seen the pills and nuts in it. Then I seed the tag on it that said ‘This here be the turd we found in Elvis’s toilet bowl’. I knew then I had a piece of history in my hand !”
Forensic experts from the Museum of Natural History were called in to authenticate the turd.
“We compared the rifling on the fecal sample to a cast of Elvis Presley’s sphincter that was provided to us by the CIA and they were an identical match.” ,said Dr. Melville Broomstien. ” We imminently placed the turd , known as The Prince in a hyperbolic chamber.”
The auction was not a public event and the buyer of The Prince chose to remain anonymous.