CANNIBAL BOY KILLS TEACHER.
UPI-Boston. Police officials in Bridgewater, Mass said that a four -year old boy ruthlessly attached and killed his teacher as terrified students watched in horror. The flesh-eating tot went berserk after the teacher, identified as Ilene Troy, 32, attempted to discipline the monster after he repeatedly climbed up a ladder. The boy, known only as Dylan, a student at Bright-eyes School for Gifted Children, slaughtered the poor woman and then fed on her body. Police detective Fred Skinner told the Norwood Times that witnesses stated that just prior to the assault, ” his eyes turned red, he foamed and spat and then without notice, lunged for Miss Troy.” Bridgewater Police Detective Paul Skinner said, “ Twenty five years in homicide and I’ve never seen such brutality. He pulled her head off and kicked it down the hallway.”
According to police officials, this is not the first time that the boy has been involved in violent acts. The lad, nick-nicked named “Cannibal Boy” by local press initiated a family feud last Summer when he demanded a hotdog be cooked for him and when got it, threw it in a swimming pool, clogging the filter. Earlier in the year Dylan was suspended after biting not one, but every student in his class. Last week Bright-Eyes Principal Peter Hesred pulled Dylan from a class and sent him home. “ He didn’t want to eat his lunch. It was a hotdog, if I remember correctly. Anyway, all he wanted to eat was chocolate. He threw a terrible temper tantrum. “ said Hesred. ”Very disturbing, the language that comes out of that child’s mouth. I called his grandmother to come pick him up. When she arrived, he threw her dentures out the window and then pushed her down a flight of stairs. He just stood there and laughed as the poor creature rolled down the stairs. “School officials reported that Dylan had been thrown out of 6 schools in the last 2 years.
“ He’s an insufferable scoundrel,” said a former teacher who chose not to give her own name. “He should be locked up and the key thrown away!”
His parents told police that people were over-reacting and that their little baby has been a victim of profiling. “ He’s no different than any other young boy his age. Sure, he’s pulled a few fire alarms and he did de-rail the train at Eddyville railroad. What boy hasn’t? He’s a good boy that does bad things. He’s our little angel. So what if he killed her. She must have provoked him. She deserved what she got. Nobody has a right to tell our son what to do. Not even us.” said his mother.
As police closed in on him, Dylan retreated to the teacher’s lounge, where he jumped up and down on a couch while eating chocolate, leaving smudges on the expensive upholstery. ”Never mind what he did to that teacher, the real crime is what he did to that couch. “ said Vice principal Julie Master. ”It will cost a fortune to get those stains out. We were looking forward to buying a new frozen margarita machine in time for summer vacation.”
History teacher Jeff Lizella was visibly upset as he talked about the loss of this young co-worker but quickly brightened up when he realized that he would be inheriting her coveted parking spot.
After a two-hour stand off, Dylan was able to escape to a wooded area behind the school where he climbed up a power-line tower. Believing that satanic forces might possess the young man, a catholic priest was called in to perform an exorcism. National grid shut off power to the lines, which disrupted power to 300,000 homes.
As the ritual was about to begin, Cannibal-boy kicked the Father Shear in the groin. Doubled over in pain, the priest called him a “little mother fucker” but later confessed that he found the kick to be oddly enjoyable. “Dylan is a child of God. A very naughty boy, with lovely skin and compelling eyes and delicious lips. He only needs the loving hands of a priest to guide him to more fertile places.” The exorcism was called off as Dylan hurled hotdogs down on the onlookers, injuring three people. When his supply of wieners was exhausted, he removed his soiled diaper and threw it down, hitting the Chief of Police in the face. Fearing for the safety of the crowd that had gathered, Police Chief O’Neil ordered tear-gas grenades be deployed, which brought the tot down from the wires, where he landed in a bramble bush. Police quickly handcuffed him and escorted him to Bridgewater Mental Hospital for evaluation. Pediatric Physiologist Dr. Paul withers said that his initial diagnosis was that the boy suffered from severe iron deficiency. “ It does not surprise me that he sought blood and flesh. His deficiency would fuel these animalistic behaviors. “