Anheuser-Busch Bottles Clydesdale Urine

The Budweiser Clydesdale horses will be making beer instead of pulling it.

In June, Anheuser-Busch launched the latest addition to its line of specialty beers aimed at capturing some of the import market-share. Specifically, the company is betting that its new ale, O’le Horse Piss, will compete with increasingly popular Mexican imports. Currently, Corona, Modello and Tecate account for more than half of the imported beer market in the US.

O’le Horse Piss Ale will also lead Anheuser-Busch’s efforts to go “green.”

“Sure we’d like to get a piece of the import market. Maybe not all of it, but at least 100 percent of it,” said Jim Strens, VP of Marketing at INBEV of North America, Anheuser-Busch’s parent company. “In keeping with the style that is traditional in Mexico, we made O’le Horse Piss light and flavorless. This beer is right up our alley. We rock when it comes to cheap, flavorless beers! With the urine added in, we get a huge tax credit for being ‘green’.”

Head brewer Brad Trekker checks urine quality at the brewery.

“We are always trying to cut corners to save on production costs. I didn’t think we could skimp on ingredients any more than we already do. Unlike real beer, we never use barley, malt or hops. We brew Budweiser using cheaper ingredients like cardboard, beechwood chips, rice, corn, straw and lots and lots of water. Then, we throw in a couple of yards of pine-bark mulch for flavor. Now that we’ve added the Clydesdale urine, we can make beer for less money per case. Plus, horse pee is a great thirst quencher and we use the best quality available.”

Like Anheuser-Busch’s other offerings, O’le Horse Piss will sit in a hot warehouse for no less than 12 months to mature.

“We’ve found that 12 months in the heat and sun lets that ‘skunky’ profile develop and mature completely,” explains head-brewer Brad Trekker. “How the fuck people even drink this shit, I don’t know. Our marketing guys are geniuses, man. O’le Horse Piss is a tribute to American innovation and to the Clydesdale horses that helped AB grow. We aren’t horsing around with this beer. Like they say in Boston, it’s pissah!”