Three people remain in custody after being arrested on Saturday morning following a traffic stop in Canton. In what was described by Lt. Paul Sullivan as “the most bizarre traffic stop” that he has seen in his 23 years on the force, Canton police responded to a report of a disabled vehicle traveling on Route 95. They came across the vehicle shortly after 2 a.m. traveling in the high-speed lane on the southbound side.
Former male model Francis Fasher of Foxboro was arrested and charged with DUI.
“We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle,” said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. “After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself.”
After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.
“There were also two female passengers in the back seat,” stated Lt. Sullivan. “One of the females was asleep, partially clad. The other was extremely hysterical. At that time, we believed that she might have been under the influence of PCP, due to the fact that she claimed there were mice biting at her and climbing on her.”
Because of the size of the two women, police were unable to pull the women out of the rear doors of the vehicle. After members of the Canton Rescue Squad cut the roof off the vehicle, and with the help of a crane supplied by Shaugnessy Crane, the women were lifted out of the car. Police estimate the weight of each woman was between 300 and 450 pounds.
Shortly after being extracted from the vehicle, the two women began arguing with each other and blows were thrown. At that point, police arrested 17-year-old Tina “Pebbles” Zonfrelli of Foxboro and 56-year-old Donna Dyers of Lynn.
“We followed the drag marks and found that the axle and tires had separated from the vehicle some four miles back. The axle, wheels and tires were found in the parking lot of the Ancient Lounge located in Foxboro,” stated Canton police officer James C. West. “At this time we believe that the three individuals had patronized the Ancient Lounge for the better part of the day, and that at closing time, they decided to continue the party at Mr. Fasher’s apartment.”
Upon entering the vehicle, the combined weight of the occupants caused the axle and wheels to separate from the vehicle.
“It is unbelievable that an individual could drive over four miles and not realize that there were no rear tires on the car,” says West.
During the search of the vehicle, police came up with an unexpected find.
“The interior of the vehicle was very messy. There were beer cans, food wrappers, rib bones, and other rubbish in the car. Under the driver’s seat we found a nest of mice. I guess she did see a mouse,” West chuckled.
Police charged Fasher with driving while intoxicated, indecent exposure, urinating in public, disturbing the peace, failure to stay in marked lanes, destruction of public property, assaulting a police officer, driving an unregistered motor vehicle, driving an uninsured motor vehicle, non-payment of child support, public intoxication, evading police, passengers not wearing seat belts, transporting lab animals without proper permits and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
“We’ve been after this guy for quite some time,” said West. “Mr. Fasher is well known to us. He is a renowned transvestite, and he’s been arrested a number of times for prostitution. In June of 1998, he was arrested six times in one week. In fact, three of those arrests occurred on one day.”
Fasher faces a number of complaints from business owners in Canton and charges have been filed against him by a number of citizens in the community. Four people have filed civil-damage lawsuits against him after their private property was damaged by Fasher. One person has alleged that he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.
Jimmy Chan, owner of Golden Dong China Restaurant claims that he assaulted an employee and caused damages to his establishment.
“He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”
James Marathos, owner of Marathos Carpets, alleges that he found Fasher sleeping in his store when he opened up for business one morning three weeks ago.
“He broke in through the back door and passed out right here,” said Marathos, pointing out the spot. “I threw him out but later I discovered that he had urinated all over our entire Persian rug collection, and I ended up with a cleaning bill for $2,600.”
Fasher is scheduled to appear in Norfolk County District Court on Monday morning.
The Daily Cricket 
“One person has alleged that he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.”
That totally made this blog entry.
Posted by Jefftheman45 | June 27, 2008, 5:27 amRead this statement in most stereotypically asian voice you can imagine:
“He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”
Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 5:00 pmnow that’s just funny, don’t care who u r … but me no rikey him breaky pu-pu platter!! u go now! u eat too much and stinky like poodle!!
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 8:02 pmI thought the same thing -_____-
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 11:41 pmI did!
Posted by Michael David Sugg | September 30, 2013, 5:34 pmYou be here 4 hours! You go now!
Posted by Douglas Schofield | October 1, 2013, 4:45 pmthe” golden dong” restaurant got me
Posted by meow | October 2, 2013, 10:51 pmWait, Golden Dong China Restaurant?
Posted by J House | October 3, 2013, 2:39 pmI don’t care that was some funny sh*t lol!!!
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 8:00 pmI totally did that, too!!!
Posted by Kelly Simmons | October 4, 2013, 12:51 pmhaha like Dana from the Goonies.
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 3:34 pmLmao ! Your funny 🙂
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 4:02 pmNo quote has ever been completely fabricated more than this quote
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 5:41 pmCongrats! You guys thought the same thing as everyone else…that’s the point. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
Posted by Anonymous | October 5, 2013, 2:56 amI did and it was funny.
Posted by Julia | October 5, 2013, 2:36 pmIf Charlie Chan or Boston Blackie were around this would have never happened! It’s all the Ball Less men around today! Right?
Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2013, 8:10 pmThats how i read it to begin with
Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2013, 9:17 pmI already did hahaha, i saw it and was going to read it with adding in words but then i looked at what it said before and saw that it said “Jimmy Chan” so i’m like, “oh, he’s asian” and then i read it appropriately hahaha
Posted by Justin | October 8, 2013, 8:13 pmBetter Pu-Pu than Poo-Poo.
Posted by Ray | October 9, 2013, 9:54 amI already did lol.
Posted by Anonymous | October 11, 2013, 3:28 pmI hear Jackie Chan… 🙂
Posted by Anonymous | October 12, 2013, 4:21 amHe throw poo poo AND screw poo poo
Posted by john | October 12, 2013, 11:18 amThe article doesnt.give you a choice but to read it like that. It had me rolling!
Posted by anon | October 16, 2013, 4:01 pmsign say are you can eat, not are i can cook!!!
Posted by Anonymous | October 16, 2013, 10:28 pmI KNOWWWW!!!!!
Posted by buttmuncher | October 18, 2013, 9:08 amI honestly found it impossible NOT to read it in stereotypical voice. It’s like they included that direct quote in there to be funny. I mean, really, they could have paraphrased.
Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 9:28 amAnd you’re very poor at grammar. What have YOU been drinking?
Posted by Lindalou | October 21, 2013, 10:26 pmSo, why is alcohol sold everywhere yet pot is so restricted? No pot-head has ever been so messed up. It just doesn’t/wouldn’t happen to stoners as it does regularly to drunks.
Posted by Buddy Penick | October 23, 2013, 11:01 amme love you long time…lol.
Posted by steve | October 31, 2013, 11:06 amDirect quote. No stereotype
Posted by Anonymous | March 27, 2015, 12:50 amNot if that is the right words he spoke
Posted by Angel | April 9, 2015, 4:47 pmBrilliant!
Posted by Kim | August 30, 2016, 10:46 pmActually, this is the best: ““He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”” The Pu-Pu platter barter made me blow scotch out of my nose
Posted by Ray Nath | November 30, 2012, 11:40 pmhaha that sounds painful!
Posted by Ned Johnson | December 6, 2012, 1:04 pmBet ya he is on the state!!!
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 11:05 pmGiven his toilet habits, they’re lucky it wasn’t the other kind poo-poo.
Posted by Pat | January 2, 2013, 2:11 amPupu is another word for appetizer – common in Hawaii and Asia. I know, it sounds gross.
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 3:47 pmThat comment is what sealed this as fake. I was laughing my ass off at the over sized women, but something about the pupu platter killed it for me.
Posted by Anonymous | October 8, 2013, 2:04 pmSo they down mirror at the Golden Dong Chinese Restaurant? I’ll open a Kickstarter account for them.
Posted by Sam Smith Jones | October 11, 2013, 7:23 amRight??
Posted by bearholdingashark0 | December 1, 2012, 3:24 amThis story has to be a joke. If they needed a crane to get the gals out of the back seat, then how the heck did they get into the car in the first place?
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 9:42 amNo, it is because one woman was asleep and the other was probably unwilling or stuck. Like when a child slips his head through slats in a bed and can’t get it back out.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 11:16 pmMonkey fist, baby. It’s all about the monkey fist.
Posted by Mary K Kinkster | December 4, 2012, 9:12 pmCar was also on an incline because of the missing axel and tires.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 3:09 pmthey were drunk… 🙂 They forced their way INTO the car and didn’t feel a thing. once the Police had to get them out it was dead weight!!!
Posted by Brandy | December 6, 2012, 11:02 amTotally agree, has to be fabricated!
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 4:38 pmnot easily lol
Posted by Anonymous | December 8, 2012, 5:12 pmThey cut the roof off.
Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 8:44 amCan you imagine two women that size in a car that small? It’s hard enough to get a normal size drunk out of the back seat of a car…
Posted by Anonymous | October 2, 2013, 4:26 pmever put a ring on your finger and really struggle to get it off? I imagine its something like that.
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 11:23 pmThis has to be a joke. Because I have heard this EXACT story before, yet it took place somewhere else. I mean details and all.
Posted by Bartina Barkley | October 7, 2013, 7:42 amThe car sits differently now that the tires and axle are gone. I can see it….
Posted by Anonymous | October 8, 2013, 8:05 amNot at all, think about it. They were driving for nearly 5 miles with no back end support. The weight of the women I’m sure made it impossible for the doors to be open.
Yours truly…Monica Thompson
Qcy, Il
Lol
Posted by Monica Thompson | October 8, 2013, 10:55 amAlso, trying to imagine two people that Large in the back seat of a Hyundai compact car.. not likely..
Posted by Anonymous | August 30, 2016, 10:26 amMost amusing fiction. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 9:28 pmThis isn’t fiction my friend is on the police force in Canton, NY and told me all about the incident.
Posted by Anonymous | October 5, 2013, 9:40 pmDEFINITELY fiction! This guy gets arrested THREE times in one day and keeps getting out????? He does all of these things and is still free??? I sooooooo doubt it!!! If he lived in New York state, he would be sitting in jail for quite some time!
Posted by Debra | October 10, 2013, 12:31 pmToo bad it’s Canton, MA, Mr. Pants on Fire…
Posted by Anonymous | October 17, 2013, 8:08 pmI was just thinking, if he lived in Boston, MA or anywhere is MA. really, he could quite easily get arrested 3 times in one day and be walking around free. I went to court as a witness once and this guy (allegedly) attempted to rob the same bank 3 different times on a city block that had 5 banks on it. He was ordered to pay the bank back and NEVER step one foot in that bank again. Does that mean he try the other 4 now. Know wonder police get irritated they arrest them and the courts let them go free.
Posted by Anonymous | October 10, 2015, 2:51 amTypical Police Over-Reaction. You have him on 10 good charges, but you have to throw in urinating in public becase he did at some time, and transporting lab animals without a permit because he’s such a dirtball that mice live in his car. Really? Pretty sure you could have just stuck to the honest infractions.
Posted by JEFF DILL | December 5, 2012, 8:41 pmThis story is not true. You sir, are an idiot
Posted by Llid Ffej | December 7, 2012, 9:46 amWell done counselor
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 11:35 pmJust like the time the cops were putting a person their car-they told the perp to throw his cigarette away which he readily did. They then added a littering charge to the other one.
Posted by chuck barton | October 2, 2013, 11:32 pmVery well said. From one to another! Cheers.
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 4:32 pmYour rant is spot on. Great job.
Posted by Rowley Grantsmith | October 4, 2013, 7:24 pmis there a “honest infraction” regarding screwin’ a poodle in its own back yard? seriously, throw the book at him!
Posted by sue | October 5, 2013, 9:22 amThink about what you said Jeff, afer all, you ARE talking about the state of Massachusetts!! One of the many reasons why I moved to the South which is drastically different but in a good,positive and sensible way. Sure it’s hotter than hell in the summer but that’s a very small price to pay for sanity and reasonable laws that make this story look like something out of the Far Side. Ah, never underestimate the price of reasonable and sensible people who don’t pay high taxes to avoid this type of nonsense!! It’s a blessing all around for me!! I do miss the fall foliage though but not enough to move back!!
Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2013, 6:39 amTrue or not…. its funny as hell!!
Posted by Ted Helgeson | October 7, 2013, 11:43 pmDefinitely one of my favorite details. Is every mouse considered a lab animal? Even when they’ve never been in a lab and never will be?
Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2013, 9:50 amWas the article reffering to the fat women or the mice as lab animals?
Posted by berkshire8durkinjt | October 13, 2013, 10:05 amWe go back to the irritation that they get let right back out, so they are trying to find a way to prevent this.
Now what gets me is I have had old abused vehicles and loaded down with several hundred pounds and never had a the axle come off. So I don’t know, maybe maybe not.
Posted by Chuck | September 3, 2016, 11:43 amThat is the funniest part because mice are lab animals and in his experiments the poor mice suffered lol. Have to admit he deserves all his charges just sayin
Posted by Anonymous | September 3, 2016, 6:48 pmAgreed!
Posted by monica | December 6, 2012, 5:55 am^I agree.
Posted by AC | December 7, 2012, 3:31 amThat is the craziest thing I ever read
Posted by Bonnie | December 7, 2012, 10:07 pmBy singling out one entry, you’re taking away from artistry of the whole picture. It’s a Picaso, a Rembrant, and a Michaelangelo all rolled into one. To think, if his house was just 3.5 miles from the bar, he’d still be on the loose.
Posted by Anonymous | December 9, 2012, 9:36 amI was thinking the same thing!!! Smh
Posted by Anonymous | March 29, 2015, 11:51 pmThe Golden Dong has a great buffet.
Posted by Anonymous | December 12, 2012, 8:36 amLook at that picture again and the reread this: “Mr. Fasher is well known to us. He is a renowned transvestite, and he’s been arrested a number of times for prostitution.”
Arrested for prostitution. How drunk would a person need to be to pay for sex with him?
Posted by SteveS | September 30, 2013, 5:06 pmWell it didn’t say he was any good at being a prostitute!
Posted by Gary Cuddington | October 20, 2013, 10:16 amTransporting lab animals without proper permits is the best charge ever.
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 3:06 amthats how i read it in the first place lol, why did they quote him instead of explaining what had happened-theyknew what they were doing
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 9:58 pmHOW COULD A MAN STOOP SO LOW AS A FRENCH POODLE ALLTHOUGH I DID HEAR HE MANAGED A DACHUND ONCE.
Posted by chris | October 7, 2013, 8:16 pmI think you would actually have to stoop lower to do a dachshund…..literally.
Posted by Sophia | March 28, 2015, 12:10 amWhat if it hadn’t been a “prize-winning” French poodle? would she have cared?
Pretty funny stuff.
Posted by Dave T | October 9, 2013, 10:23 amIs the poodle pregnant?
Posted by Anonymous | October 16, 2013, 12:13 pmPicks or it aint true!
Posted by Anonymous | October 26, 2013, 10:23 amAnd he has kids????? How horrible!!
Posted by Lois | October 7, 2015, 4:30 pmI don’t know where to believe all of this bizzare activity or not, seems highly unlikeliness, If he’s such a pervert and if this is true, he needs to be put out of his misery……Like a wild coyote you know what they do to them !!
Posted by bshall | October 10, 2015, 9:40 amIs this all true?
Posted by Kathy | November 30, 2012, 10:31 amLook at the original date June 23 2008 I doubt it
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:33 pmIt’s tagged satire right at the top.
Posted by Nicole | March 27, 2015, 11:42 amNo, because I’ve heard this story before. Details and all…except for the fact that it happened somewhere else.
Posted by Bartina Barkley | October 7, 2013, 7:43 amYou have said this twice now. Can you give us a source Bartina?
Posted by Kristi | October 13, 2013, 10:38 amHow about the transvestite and prostitute line? From his picture that’s some damn scary thoughts
Posted by Lance Ipock | October 7, 2015, 1:54 pmThat picture you have is not of a 45 year old former transvestite Male model. That is a well known actor, cannot remember his name and he is in his late sixties or seventies. He was in Men in Black. Better hurry up and fix it before you end up being sued by him.
Posted by Shay Dunne | November 30, 2012, 11:16 amI believe the man you are speaking of is Rip Torn
Posted by Ray | December 1, 2012, 11:46 pmthe “Link” to this page was infact Rip Torn, however the pic at the top of this column is NOT Rip Torn.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 8:10 amNo shit, Rip Torn.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 8:14 amThat is not rip torn
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 11:20 amDefinitely not Rip, I know Rip and that definitely isn’t him!
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 12:41 pmHe’s definitely Ripped and looks Torn, close enough.
Posted by dmanjam | December 7, 2012, 12:25 amDMANJAM, That is the funniest comment I’ve read all day!
Posted by Anne Tessari | October 3, 2013, 8:40 pmIt’s not Rip Torn you idiot. The teeth are all wrong.
This is Rip Torn:
Posted by Frekoid | December 3, 2012, 2:12 pmI AGREE THIS GUY SI NOT RIP TORN AS RIP TORNS NOSE IS NOT SO PLUMP AS THIS GUYS AND RIP AINT GOT NO SCAR ON HIS NOSE LIKE THAT ADN THE HAIR IS ALL WRONG FOR THIS GUY TO BE RIP TORN FOR REAL LOL SOME PEOPLE NEED TO GET GLASSES FOR REAL OR AT LEAST HAVE THEIR EYES CHECKED
Posted by Kat Glover | October 3, 2013, 5:29 amI’m not surprised you’d confuse him for Rip though….seems exactly his style of drunken mess. Anyone remember him in a bank in CT with a gun in the middle of the night thinking he lived there?
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 8:03 amOh my shit this guy had a crazy ass night!
Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 12:13 pmHe needs to be placed in a locked unit where he “may” be able to get help.
Posted by Keep It Real | November 30, 2012, 3:19 pmWow that is so crazy I feel so much better about myself God bless him those 2 women”
Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 4:08 pmI was tickled by “transporting lab animals without proper permits”
Posted by Cathy Thomson-Langworthy | November 30, 2012, 4:37 pmwere they referring to the women or mice?
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 4:06 pmThat’s a fair question!
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 5:40 pmThrow the book at him! And the file cabinet, aw hell, throw the entire PD.
Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:41 pmthis has to be a joke
Posted by Mark Cohen | November 30, 2012, 7:08 pmvery interesting story, however i am appauled on the way you quoted the chinese restuarant owner..You are gathering information and reporting to the public on what goes on in our communities but you DO NOT have to belittle someone in how they speak. Go back and read what you wrote and how you said it…you should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AND I’M SURPRISED THEY LET YOU PUBLISH SOMETHING LIKE THAT…you really need to appologize to the family and to the readers ..sincerely an DISGUSTED READER
Posted by cassandra moore | November 30, 2012, 7:44 pmShut up, Cassandra.
Posted by Necrotizing Fasciitis | December 1, 2012, 11:13 pmThat is exactly what I was going to say. Well said, sir.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 10:08 amYes Cassandra shut up. What if it were verbatim. Who are we to implant words that aren’t there.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 12:28 pmCassandra if you can’t speak the kings English you deserve to be made fun of, horse whipped, deported, and have to French kiss Mr. Fashler.
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 2:38 amHistorically, when people say “Shut up Cassandra” very very bad happen.
Posted by Marya | December 5, 2012, 4:06 pmJust what I was thinking, Marya.
Posted by patsouthward | January 2, 2013, 2:15 amIt was a quote. A direct quote. Quotes are the exact words of the people who speak them. Get a grip, Cassie.
Posted by Ruby | December 1, 2012, 11:15 pmI might disagree, Ruby. When I read quotes from the Los Angeles Times the reporter adds the correct words in parenthesis. You see this a lot in quotes of athletes. I believe it would have been more responsible for the reporter to do this. To be honest with you, I question the authenticity of the whole story. Where did he get the pu-pu? Also, it doesn’t sound like he lives is an area where there is an abundance of award winning french poodles.
Posted by johnny o | December 2, 2012, 8:30 amNo, it isn’t. Notice the “Satire” tag? The restaurant owner isn’t being quoted because he doesn’t exist. The author made it up. It’s a parody of a stereotype.
Posted by oezlum | December 6, 2012, 11:58 amActually the Chinese restuarant owner is a real guy and that’s a real resturant. But it’s not the Ancient lounge, it’s the Ancient MARINER. It’s in the heart of Foxboro and Canton is NORTH of Foxboro so it doesn’t male sense that he was travelling southbound if he was comming from the Ancient Mariner, especially if he was supposedly heady towards his house in Foxborough. And as for this Tina chick, she would have been in my grade if she went to Foxboro High at this time and I’ve never heard of her. I’m not exactly sure how true this story is.
Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:22 pmJust clarifying that I meant the deal about the Ancient Mariner to be separate from talking about Mr Chan’s resturant. I don’t want people to think I was referring to the Ancient Mariner as Mr Chan’s resturant. And he really does talk like that 😛
Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:28 pmQuotes are just that QUOTES! If he said it like that it has to be printed like that. Your and idiot. That’s my Quote!
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 11:21 amYOU’RE* an idiot
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 5:53 pmIt’s not a quote. This is a satirical article, as you can tell by the “satire” tag. He didn’t really say that because he does not exist, it’s a parody of a stereotype in a humor article. Also, *you’re *an
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 11:55 amYou are right, Cassandra. The reporter did not have to directly quote the restaurant owner, thereby implicitly mocking his English. He could have simply described what the man said, i.e. “When denied more beer by the owner, he threw a pu-pu platter at the waitress.” There’s probably a few commenters here whose English could also be mocked.
Posted by Morison53 | December 2, 2012, 1:55 pmAgreed. Reporters should not write as if they were working for Engrish.com.
Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:42 pmIf that’s how he said it, that’s how he should write it. That’s how quotes work.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 3:45 pmWELL NOW WE KNOW HE IS CHINESE. IT PUT CHARACTOR TO THE STORY.JUST LIKE REAL LIFE ,YOU COULD SAY NOW YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WHERE THERE.
Posted by Julie Leach | October 1, 2013, 9:12 pmGet a life Cassandra!
That was the funniest part!
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 4:54 pmWhy don’t you get a life or get educated. In this world some of the dumbest things turns certain people on, guess you are one of them! Don’t ever forget everyone of us are inheritors of immigrants.
Posted by BMC | December 11, 2012, 11:44 amThe only thing appalling (you’re allowed to use spell-check, by the way) is your complete lack of a sense of humor.
Posted by JD | December 2, 2012, 5:32 pmWhat actually do you find humorous? That an Asian man is being mocked?
Posted by BMC | December 11, 2012, 11:47 amwhat happens when the fat women farts in the car /? will the mice leave//???????i wanta know.a
Posted by no name | November 13, 2013, 1:42 pmCassandra, I’m disgusted by your post. You should learn to spell before writing anything in public.
Posted by anonymous | December 3, 2012, 1:14 pmI am truly disgusted by YOUR post, Cassandra. “Appauled” is not a word. Chinese is always capitalized. “Appologize” does not have two p’s. You really need to learn to spell, and apologize to the world before writing in public.
Posted by kcaf0624 | December 3, 2012, 1:17 pmIf you’re going to critique someones spelling… be thorough! Cassandra also misspelled RESTAURANT!
Posted by CJGB4908 | December 6, 2012, 12:55 pmCassandra, he was “quoted” that way because that’s obviously how the business owner talks… and thats what you do when you “quote” someone. Now news reporters are supposed to re-write how poeple talk? Your comment is a small example of everything that is wrong with this country right now. Get over it.
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 3:32 pmThe story is fake dumbass. The golden dong restaurant? And no editor would ever let a quotation like that appear, they would paraphrase.
Oh, and there is no Norfolk county in Ohio.
FAKE
Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 1:55 pmMassachusetts
Posted by Bobby Bou | December 15, 2012, 9:32 pmIf he is quoting someone, shouldn’t he quote them word for word? That is what they are supposed to do. Give what is said and not what they interpret. Proper journalism should be this way.
Posted by David Quintana | December 3, 2012, 6:00 pmOh shut up.
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 6:03 pmYou are the epitome of the soccer-mom cliche that is responsible for the pussification of America.
Posted by KC | December 3, 2012, 9:09 pmNo fair- I am a soccer mom and do not subscribe in any way to any pussifucation!
Quote on and let the words fall where they may!
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 7:41 amUgh somebody needs a cranberry juice …
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 7:09 pmHe didn’t “do” an abundance of prize-winning French poodles. It only takes one. Is there a secret neighborhood where they keep “an abundance of Prize-winning French poodles?” LOVE the article, btw..
Posted by Dahnä Moody Brown | December 5, 2012, 1:40 pmYour argument is irrelevant. Read the title of the publication and check out some of the other stories. I think you’ll find that this is fiction.
Posted by Lauren | December 4, 2012, 7:57 pmWhen you are reporting and you use a quote you have to keep that quote word for word. They are not trying to offend or belittle anyone.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 12:41 amCass,
How do your children like “no-out” tee ball? Everyone gets a trophy!!!
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:33 amLook at the date, June 23, 2008. This looks like it’s been around for awhile. Google the name and the only thing that comes up is this page.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:35 pmCassandra, that was my thought also. How callous. I’m sure he speaks much better English than the writer speaks Chinese!
Posted by Maura Cramer | December 6, 2012, 4:18 pmMs Moore
You DO realize this is a satire site, don’t you? If it disgusts you, do not read it any further. But if you do, and in the course of doing so decide to comment again…please learn to spell and punctuate correctly. Oh, and a refresher course in English grammar wouldn’t hurt, either.
Posted by Blindan Nekkid | December 6, 2012, 10:11 pmA very interesting story?! First of all, it’s fake. Second, this is the Internet. People are allowed to post anything they want (see pr0n). Recognize humor when you see it and lighten up.
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 1:45 amReporting to the public? First of all, it’s fake. Second, this is the Internet. People are allowed to post anything they want (see pr0n). Recognize humor when you see it and lighten up.
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 1:51 amAt first, I was afraid it was Canton, Texas, and I was going to beg my niece to move. So glad it is fake. But, it is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. But, even funnier, are the comments. People, ya’ll are hysterical!!! Thanks to each of you for making me laugh until tears rolled, especially ya’ll who commented on the french poodle.
Posted by Patty | October 4, 2013, 12:51 amthe reporter is obviously just quoting the chinese guy, thats how he told his story, its a quote!! calm urself! you sound like you voted for Oboma! figures
Posted by scott | December 7, 2012, 12:55 pmScott you are a dumbass mother fucker! I get really angry when ppl like you wanna bring politics into it. How does voting for Obama have anything to do with this article? Oh wait, that’s right, you are ignorant and having a successful black man as President of the U.S.A. is a problem. Lighten the fuck up and shut up. Ugh! I’m disgusted. It’s 2012. Get over it. Your mother should have swallowed you Scott.
Posted by wtf! | December 9, 2012, 2:01 pmGod you’re an idiot. The story is fake. There is no Norfolk county in Ohio. And the tags at the top say “comedy” and “satire”.
And Cassandra is right , btw. No editor would allow a quotation like that. They would have paraphrased the owner’s statement. You know, the owner of the GOLDEN DONG?
idiot
Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 2:02 pmAw it was funny! Just admit it. I cackled all the way through it.
Posted by Shari Rhodes | October 3, 2013, 11:30 pmWhat if that is how he actually spoke?
Posted by Jason P. Lamoureux | October 7, 2013, 11:41 amWatch out you bitchie to much they throw poo-poo platter at you
Posted by Fred | October 8, 2013, 3:47 pmKasandra,
you one vewy dum beatch! We Chinese fok know exaquey what we takkin abot. Nefer make mestake. Sewiously, yu very stupid puson…go ahead and put yoself out of misery now before too late, or call me if want to get sakki.
luv yu,
Chen Long Dong
Posted by Anonymous | October 8, 2013, 4:07 pmIt was prolly a fake story to begin with. Calm down and don’t believe everything u read on the internet! But I shouldnt have to tell you that!
Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2013, 8:35 pmWow…
Posted by tim | March 27, 2016, 4:47 pmFirst of all, wow, he’s only 45? Secondly, I totally thought that was Rip Torn
Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 8:39 pmThe story did not need to be told to this level… with the police appearing to “mock” those arrested. Have some class. Some folks have tough lives, have mental deficiencies as well as drug problems. Simply reporting the facts was all that was necessary. The police officer should be reprimanded for his derogatory comments.
Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 9:03 pmThe police did not write the article, the columnist did. The police officer should be reprimanded for his derogatory comments? How about being applauded for finally getting this scumbag off the streets…wow, what a skewered way to look at that story.
Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 10:05 pmThe story is fake. I’m glad you feel safer that a fictional person isn’t on the street anymore
Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 2:03 pmYou appear to be on the same Mental level as him. You frigging empty headed jackhole, this person didnt do this because they had a bad childhood. Get a grip, what if that was your poodle he was riding like sea biscuit on your front lawn? You make liberals sound bad , shut your pie hole
Posted by andrew | December 2, 2012, 1:40 pmAll fun and games until your family member gets killed when he’s in the passing lane on the highway with no rear axle.
Posted by andrew | December 2, 2012, 1:42 pmAndrew, you’re killing me!! Almost wet my pants over sea biscuit comment!! Whoops! I did!
Posted by Sirius | December 4, 2012, 9:40 pmUgh somebody needs a tampon …
Posted by Nerd | December 4, 2012, 7:11 pmCan you believe that the New York Times would print this?!?!
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:37 amI know where I won’t be buying any rugs.
Posted by JD | November 30, 2012, 9:20 pmwow Glad to say I am not related to that mess !!! Geez !!!
Posted by Deb Reed Healy | November 30, 2012, 9:20 pmLt Paul Sullivan deserves a metal for catching that scum bag , i love all those charges,(transporting lab animals w/o permit) belly aches, hooray Lt Paul Sullivan ty
Posted by dave johnson | November 30, 2012, 10:32 pmFrancis sure does party hard.. Way too hard in fact..
Posted by Ryan | December 1, 2012, 3:23 amBish this is hilarious!
Posted by BISH | December 1, 2012, 4:11 amIs there any truth to this story at all?
Posted by S | December 1, 2012, 8:18 amYes there is.
The towns cited are all real Massachusetts towns.
…but I think that’s it 😛
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 4:43 amWell Foxboro is real. But Canton is north of Foxboro so it makes no sense that he was comming from Foxboro and heading to his appartment in the same town. yet he was heading southbound on 95. And the “Ancient Lounge” is actually called The Ancient Mariner, it’s near the center of Foxboro and it’s a dump.
Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:33 pmHere and I thought it would be a classy place.
Posted by patsouthward | January 2, 2013, 2:21 amI love reading this.It pops up on my Facebook oicasconally and it just makes my day to see what the Wingo family is learning, doing, living. Love your random posts.Hope you’re doing well. I miss all you guys!Alyssa
Posted by Lorena | January 9, 2013, 7:01 pmDid U Forget He was Wasted and on PCP People Go the Wrong Way All the Time Straight?
Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2013, 9:55 amThis has to be a spoof….right?
Posted by Moe | December 1, 2012, 9:20 amwe have a winner…
Posted by andrew | December 2, 2012, 1:45 pmHe’s 45!? I thought he was 70 or so. Headline didn’t lie – crazy.
Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 9:57 amMy favorite part was ” he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!” Too bad the picture is of RipTorn…
Posted by Cat B | December 1, 2012, 10:06 amIs this a joke newspaper because this is very obviously a fake story.
Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 10:58 amThis is a hoax. The pic above is of Rip Torn the actor
Posted by Brian | December 1, 2012, 11:29 amtransporting lab animals without a permit…lol….they want this guy to do time bad…lol
Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 12:50 pmThe guy looks like a disheveled Joe Biden.
Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 2:51 pmI dont see the comparison at all ! he looks more like W !
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 6:23 pmif he is really as bad as this article says he is then why wasn’t he put in jail a long time ago? makes you wonder how many of these story’s are in fact made up by the writers.
Posted by ellen | December 1, 2012, 3:43 pmThe facebook post shows a picture of Rip Torn, but when you click on the article itself, there is a picture of somebody else.
Posted by g | December 1, 2012, 4:15 pmAmerican Horror Story, Asylum!
Posted by Lori Jacolucci | December 1, 2012, 4:56 pm* This is not remotely true. But it is absolutely hilarious. The picture is from a Welsch newspaper article of Rip Torn, the part about this guy being named Frances Fasher (former male model), CLASSIC! – And to everyone who was “outraged” at the fake, direct quote from the Asian gentleman, it would be fake Libel to misquote a fake interview and you wouldn’t want to get fake sued over the fake context. Had half of Abington, MA believing this was real. It is the 3rd time this rumor was sprouted (Gary Cooper, Rip Torn previously). Peace!
Posted by BrandonJamesCAC | December 1, 2012, 9:57 pmThank you my brother!
Posted by Bobby Bou | December 2, 2012, 1:33 amDead people are ruining this country!
Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:44 pmHow about looking up the definition of the word “satire,” folks?
Posted by Cairine Clay | December 1, 2012, 7:45 pm^ Thank you.
Posted by BrandonJamesCAC | December 1, 2012, 9:58 pmNow this is a guy who is completely embracing his self-destruction.
Posted by Jason Tiggle | December 1, 2012, 10:50 pmi just joined this group yesterday – however i never expected stories like this
so i will be opting out
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 6:45 amAt the top of the page it is labeled under satire, comedy, dog sex etc. Come on people, you will believe anything.
Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 10:53 amThis is so fake I can’t stand it.
Posted by Chris | December 2, 2012, 10:59 amHahahahaha!!
Posted by Dad | December 2, 2012, 2:45 pmYou mean that if you put two fat girls in the back seat of a car, that the wheels and axle will fall off? Come on. Really?
Posted by Ron Gage | December 2, 2012, 3:51 pm….if it’s a Hyundai.
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 9:27 amFord.
Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:44 pmThis guy makes me look like a saint and my misdeeds look like good deeds!
Posted by Mike Fleming | December 2, 2012, 10:29 pmIf you’re looking for a great deal on a used Hyundai, or some almost new Persian rugs, get in touch.
Posted by Jeff | December 3, 2012, 9:24 amIs this really a true story? If you look at the top of the article, the word “satire” appears”. A friend of mine pointed this out to me.
Posted by David | December 3, 2012, 10:02 amYou’re not bright enough to figure it out for yourself? You needed a friend to tell you?
Posted by Falco | December 4, 2012, 10:15 pmWho cares if its fake? It’s hilarious!
If you’re so concerned with whats real and whats not then why didn’t you stop reading @ the satire label?
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 6:06 pmThat is not rip torn people seriously? Get a friggin clue and Cassandra is an uptight stuck up everything that’s wrong with America snob
Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 9:13 pmI want to see the picture of him dressed in drag…
Posted by TheCracken | December 3, 2012, 9:35 pmOMG if this story is real..I loved it.The funniest story ever!!!
Cassandra get over it…
Canton police officers are the best!!!
Posted by Karen | December 4, 2012, 10:23 ami am so in the dark on this one; it was’t the story that bothered me it was the coments i gess thats free speach.justmepatty
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 12:51 pmAnyone else find this article hilarious simply for the transcript of the chinese restaurant owner? You couldn’t neaten that up at all?? hahaha
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 1:16 pmI wonder if the poodle returned the favor? Why did the person watch him doing the dog,I would have did him w/a baseball bat !!!I think he should pay for the poor dogs therapy !This should have been a You Tube special! Just cause it’s on here doesn’t make it real,some ppl will do anything for attention !!! Just saying!!
Posted by Reality | December 4, 2012, 1:34 pmTrue or not, I laughed until a little wee came out and dropped a Pu Pu Platter. Irony huh?
Posted by Nick Gall | December 4, 2012, 3:00 pmCrazy people.
Posted by g l keane | December 4, 2012, 3:43 pmWow, your all idiots. Between the snide, disrespectful remarks about the store owner and the critisizm about the author, and the disregard for the actual story, you’ve all gone round the bend. I won’t ever read another story on this site as long as you are all on it. Really obnoxious.
Posted by Someone you'll never get to meet, thank god | December 4, 2012, 4:29 pmLooks like “the hangover” will be a trilogy after they catch wind of the wild night these guys had!! this story is too awesome to NOT be told!
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 8:03 pmHo-ley shit, wow….then again…I’ve seen a few characters like that on the westside…LOL
Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 9:55 pmOne of the tags is satire. There is your answer.. FAKE, well written and clever humor. but fake indeed
Posted by It's Me Alright | December 5, 2012, 12:15 amOh, so many of you have debased this beautifully written satire defending make-believe Chinese men, the reliability of the Hyundai, and your own stupidity. Bobby Bou- creating such an epic controversy makes you even hotter now.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:46 amOh, so many of you have debased this beautifully written satire defending make-believe Chinese men, the reliability of the Hyundai, and your own stupidity. Bobby Bou- creating such an epic controversy makes you even hotter now.
Posted by anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:54 amThere is nobody by the name of Francis Fasher in MA.. I know. This is bullshit.
Posted by Adam Strang | December 5, 2012, 11:06 amya i know right because I know everyone living in MA too! duuuuhhhhhhhh
Posted by yougotbitchtits | October 3, 2013, 10:46 amalright everyone….look at the tags..last one, satire. answer everyones questions on the authenticity on this? god.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:48 amRip Torn livesn my town, I know him personally and that IS NOT him!
Posted by that is NOT Rip Torn! | December 5, 2012, 12:44 pmLives in*
Posted by that is NOT Rip Torn! | December 5, 2012, 12:45 pmits roofus the stunt bum from bumfights
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 8:12 pmI don’t think I have ever been so fully and completely entertained by a news article in my entire life
Posted by Cindy | December 5, 2012, 2:00 pmLmao I AM SO GLAD I DON’T HAVE A FRENCH POODLE CUZ MY ROTWEILER WOULDVE HAD HIM INSTEAD!
Posted by Michele | December 5, 2012, 2:33 pmWell, your all idiots? That’s an oxymoron
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 3:52 pmThe fact that you all clearly need to be told that none of this is true is a little depressing.
Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 5:12 pmAm I the only one who sees irony in people posting comments stating how they can’t believe people have nothing better to do than comment.
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 9:29 amthe reason they couldn’t get the heffers out of the car is that Hyudais have no frame. They have a unibody which is the floor basicly holding the car together. Having 700lbs in the back with no axle and dragging for 4 miles bent the car enough that the back doors would not open. The fire dep. goes through the roof because its faster and a lot bigger. Me go now
Posted by autoAL | December 6, 2012, 9:50 amMy Favorite part of this article is the pic that says “FORMER MALE MODEL” HAHAHA I laughed for 5 minutes straight!
Posted by Brandy | December 6, 2012, 11:07 am“…he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.”
Ewww! Those are going to be some ugly puppies.
Posted by Steve Hatley | December 6, 2012, 11:50 amApparently 90% of this comment section didn’t notice the “satire” tag. It’s funny because it’s NOT true, guys. There’s no need to be worried about the people or the poodle or the parody of a stereotypical Chinese restaurant owner.
Posted by oezlum | December 6, 2012, 12:04 pmI’m surprised no one has commented on that fact that he is a ‘former male model’.?????
Posted by DLK | December 6, 2012, 12:19 pmAlso “bizarre” only has one “z”.
Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:44 pmHahaha. Fantastic.
Posted by Ryan Murtha | December 6, 2012, 1:20 pm“transporting lab animals without proper permits ”
What happend to the LAB Animals?
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 3:46 pmHaha nothing like hopping on TWO grenades. Jiggle jiggle
Now I’m calling my friend his a canton cop to ask if this is true.
Posted by K Laham | December 6, 2012, 4:37 pmIs the name of the bar in Foxboro from Coleridge’s “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner?” An albatross figures prominently in that epic poem.
Posted by Tris Dammin | December 6, 2012, 4:50 pmThe bar is actually called The Ancient Mariner, not the Ancient Lounge 😛 The place is an absolute dump haha
Posted by Spekle | December 8, 2012, 6:39 pmi can see by his picture why he was a male modal
Posted by spike | December 6, 2012, 5:15 pmthis is the best thing I have read in my life…the details,the inuendos…Oh god. Cassandra loosen up!! And that is NOT Rip Torn!!!!Not Rip Torn morons
Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 6:16 pmI love the part that mentions the trash including “rib bones” in the veihicle. No car is complete without rib bones.
Posted by Lisa Reed-Miarecki | December 6, 2012, 7:02 pmIts the cricket u idiots, nothing on this news sight is true, its made to make u laugh… If thought this was true, you’re whats wrong with this country.
Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 12:19 amLet’s not go condemning the whole country, just because of a few gullible people. True or not (most likely, not). it is still a funny story
Posted by Ken V | December 7, 2012, 1:54 pmFirst day with your new eyes people? Stop saying this is Rip Torn. It simply is not. Google him, do whatever you have to do but for God’s sake stop saying it’s Rip!!
Posted by wethepipl | December 7, 2012, 1:12 amSo, so we still think closing down all those State Hospitals was a good idea?
Posted by Tarara Boumdier | December 7, 2012, 10:16 amReblogged this on Fueled Rants and commented:
Within the beloved four walls of the local IHOP, the men from my church and I shared a laugh at this article. This should make your day!
Posted by McCracken Love | December 7, 2012, 5:13 pmUm, wow! I cannot believe the level of stupidness in some of these posts. Some of you should really watch the movie “Idiocracy” then take a good look in a mirror. Your inability to realize this is a completely made up story for the sole purpose of fictional humor is astonishing. I find it hilarious how people randomly throw their two cents out there complaining about how the fictional “Chinese” guy was quoted, or how the police officer should be reprimanded for his comments and even better yet how the police were wrong for belittling this man due to his “possible bad child hood, mental health problems or drug usage”. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that any of the above people who have made thoughtless comments are so unaware of the humor in this story. Your ridiculously, facetious attempt to try and infect the rest of us with your lack knowledge and thoughtless nonsense is entertaining. Thank you.
Posted by Jessie | December 8, 2012, 11:25 amRight on. The scary part is there really are people that “buy” whatever B.S. they’re fed, and then, go vote, accordingly.
Posted by Anonymous | October 12, 2013, 10:48 amand that is why we have oboma???
Posted by no nameBillyBob | November 13, 2013, 1:53 pmI bet Rip torn was just throwing confetti all over those fat girls eating ribs and dragging ass all the way.I bet he had that mouse in his pocket so he had to take his panty boys off.The stuff about the Poodle,well ,they shouldent of had it out in the yard like that being a show dog, and all.a man has to do what a man has to do at times like that.and I for one, am glad he broke the pupu plater .I have done worse at my last camp out .I get off probation next month.
Posted by john fox | December 8, 2012, 8:26 pmThis story is completely fake. THERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY IN OHIO! As soon as I read that the name of the restaurant was the “Golden Dong” i knew it was fake.
Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 1:50 pmWho said Ohio?
Posted by Bobby Bou | April 14, 2013, 8:52 pmIts Chinese for all you know they have a restaraunt called The Golden Wii Wii…. and to top it off I think I have seen a Golden Dong or some shit like that,,,
Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 3:20 amTHERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY NEAR CANTON. IN FACT, THERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO. fakefakefakefakefake
Seriously people, “The Golden Dong Restaurant” didn’t tip you off?
It’s on that interweb, Ethel. It must be true.
Dummies.
Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 1:53 pmcanton, massachusetts
Posted by Bobby Bou | January 9, 2013, 9:46 pmMr. Fasher is getting a bum rap. Public urination indeed. If you can’t wet yourself in the privacy of your own vehicle, then the terrorists have won.
Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 2:27 pmMoral of the story only get into 4 door vehicles???? Lol
Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 5:50 pmThe Daily Cricket is an actual news site! But haw many stories in The Enquirer are true! Could be – Could not be!
Posted by Anonymous | December 12, 2012, 10:05 amI can guarantee all ovomit supporters
Posted by avg joe | September 30, 2013, 1:29 pmSome men just want to watch the world burn… God, I feel like this guy and others like him should be sent to George Carlins vision of a huge prison – island with all of the drugs they want and all the freedoms they want to be left to their own devices and do as they wish…. except that it’s all televised.
Posted by Your Dad | October 2, 2013, 9:03 am“He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”
This just put me in tears! Hahahaha
Posted by Anonymous | October 2, 2013, 10:58 amWas this a front wheel drive car? Else, how could it drive 5 miles with the rear axle and wheels missing?
Posted by anonymous | October 2, 2013, 2:09 pmOmg lol. Better call Sol.
Posted by Walt | October 2, 2013, 4:42 pmYo stay strong dude! don’t the police get you down! you do you boo boo! you do you!
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 10:44 amWhy is the fact that he is a transvestite relevant? Didn’t think that was illegal.
Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 1:31 pmI was stuck in the traffic due to these drunk cows… cranes all over the place!
Posted by Drunk Prick | October 3, 2013, 10:51 pmThe moral of the story? Never buy a Hyundai Elantra.
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 4:44 amThe only thing missing from this story is a Kardashian.
Posted by Steev | October 4, 2013, 11:37 amno way this story is true
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 12:15 pmI clicked on the “Dog Sex” tag and this is the only story that came up!? What the F! You guys will never be considered a top news website until you have a wider selection of bestiality stories, in my humble dog-sex-loving opinion.
Posted by Clark McFandrich | October 4, 2013, 3:04 pmToo bad he peed on the rug. It really tied the room together.
Posted by Anonymous | October 5, 2013, 12:15 amI don’t get how the vehicle went so far up the road with no rear end. Not to mention all the 600 to 700 pounds in he back seat. Really don’t know how it even moved… Was some great front wheel drive there hahaha I loved the comments and the story
Posted by Richard Dennis | October 5, 2013, 2:54 pmThe paper is like The Onion. Are you all really that ignorant?
Posted by Rose Selavy | October 6, 2013, 6:37 pmI AM STILL LOL SO MUCH IT’S HARD TO TYPE. HOWEVER, Why did the Police have to tack on so many ridiculous extra charges. There is a low against stacking charges in Alabama. Why go nuts like the perps did? As Sgt Friday used to say: “Just the facts mam, just the facts.”
Posted by Charles | October 6, 2013, 8:44 pmOh wow..I bet that police officer had a lot to talk about at dinner that night..lol
Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2013, 2:05 amThe satirical article has some humor to it. Really insane humor. No, it is not very factual although based in Boston suburbia. What is most disturbing is the total naivette of people commenting on the article ‘as if’ it’s true! C’mon America, really?
Posted by Bill B | October 7, 2013, 10:41 pm“Transporting lab animals without proper permits?” WTF kind of charge is that? Doe they mean the mice or the fat chicks?
Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2013, 4:17 amWell, I bet he makes one lovely transvestite!!!!!
Posted by Susan Blackwood Hunt | October 10, 2013, 4:57 pmHoly Crap! I spent 31 years as a State Trooper, and never had anything close to this bizarre!!!
Posted by ken | October 10, 2013, 9:23 pmDoes anyone see uner his picture it says Fasher former male model lmao! Great read! He had 900 lbs of woman cut out of his back seat that broke his axle and tires off the back of his car! Pissed himself and thru a pu up platter at a waitress after drinking beer all day this guy is my hero!
Posted by No one | October 10, 2013, 10:04 pmsienfeld party of 4?
Posted by Anonymous | October 10, 2013, 10:46 pmHe was charged with transporting lab animals without proper permit???? How is that possible? Because he had nice under his seat?
Posted by Anonymous | October 10, 2013, 11:54 pmRead the tags under the headline, especially the one that says “satire.”
Posted by timistheword | October 11, 2013, 10:08 amThis from Shelley Isaacson. True story– Ben hope you don’t get any calls like this
Posted by Anonymous | October 11, 2013, 9:37 pmstory posted in 2008? old news, so why is it resurfacing now?. also filed under satire, leading me to think the events never actually happened–only in the mind of a comedian wanna be. nevertheless, thanks for the laughs five years after first post. laughter is the gift that keeps on giving. lol.
Posted by byeteme | October 11, 2013, 11:48 pmLet me know if you get this.
Posted by jane flatt | October 12, 2013, 9:31 pmThis is too bizarre to be real, “The Golden Dong” really??? It is quite funny however!
Posted by Jackie | October 14, 2013, 9:11 amShame on you if you don’t recognize this as a complete fabrication. Just sayin.
Posted by Anonymous | October 14, 2013, 6:57 pmthe fact that out of everyone who has read this article not one of you have seen the Robin Williams and Tim Robbins movie “Cadillac Man” astounds me…. the line “no more beer for you” being yelled by a Chinese person is one of the funniest lines in the movie…. I’m surprise they tried to pass that line off as is it wasn’t stole from the movie… and I’m even more surprised that I’m the only one who caught it…
Posted by Christopher | October 15, 2013, 1:59 amApparently, Canton does have more than just First-Monday and a truck stop
Posted by Anonymous | October 15, 2013, 9:14 amWhat a fucking menace!
Posted by T | October 16, 2013, 6:12 pmI feel bad for his Kid’ they said he neglects to pay his Child Support Also I believe this to be all true’ I dont think he traveled four (4) miles with Fatty’s in the back of his Vehichle though and 4 one of them to be under the drinking age OMG she needs to loose some Freakin weight, and what I do know is its a fact that if Police think they can get away with a charge on someone that is not totally relevant, then they will try it, wtf are you gonna do but go to court and fight against it, Its a fact that you cannot do shit but to fight against it your gonna win or loose… They dont give a shit !!!
Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 3:09 amHey, don’t pee on the rug, man!
Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 7:12 pmHey, don’t pee on the rug, man!!
Posted by Kampbell | October 18, 2013, 7:16 pmkmsl dumbass shudda stuk to burgers n fries
Posted by Dutch De Kok | October 21, 2013, 5:15 pmThat is the funniest story i ever read…the chinese guy part is the best..
Posted by mozavelli | October 24, 2013, 7:56 amwhat happend to the mice? did they get away or did he do them too?we wanta know.
Posted by no name | November 13, 2013, 2:18 pmWhat’s up, just wanted to tell you, I enjoyed this post.
It was helpful. Keep on posting!
Posted by プーマ シューズ 専門店 | October 30, 2013, 9:23 pmI don’t know where to begin. Between the quote from the asian guy, the “Golden Dong”, the guy in the picture supposedly being a former model as well as 45(looks 20 years older), the fatass women, this is just too ridiculous.
Posted by Thanatopsis | September 1, 2014, 8:04 pmit take all kinds be this one take the cake what an animal I admit he does have bad taste he might be a super star
some day
Posted by Linda Wilson Cote | March 24, 2015, 1:37 pmNow that is some funny shit.
Posted by Lisa Galyen | March 28, 2015, 1:21 pmThat poor dog, I hope she’s been checked for disease.
Posted by Mary | April 9, 2015, 12:12 pmThis has to be fake. The picture credit says “Wales News Service”. This was a funny story though.
Posted by Susan A Hayes | April 17, 2015, 10:01 pmJust one question: Pebbles?
Posted by Gyro | October 3, 2015, 6:37 pmFunniest thing I. Have read in a long time.
Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2015, 11:57 pm“Golden Dong China Restaurant” lol
Posted by Ryan | October 5, 2015, 9:07 pmThis is some funny ass shit! There should be laws against nasty pervs like this molesting innocent little prizewinning poodles! They should’ve recorded it , hopefully the thing won’t get knocked up with his ugly pups !! And yes the Chinese Buffett dude OMG this story is great😂made my bad day turn happy it wAs so funny!
Posted by Debra Davis | October 7, 2015, 2:28 amWould make a great The Hangover 4 movie though. Lol!
Posted by Anonymous | October 8, 2015, 2:50 pmThat is the craziest story ever. I can’t believe those woman got into the car an how but none of them felt the tires fall off that’s just nuts an the mice an a naked guy pissing all over just a crazy kinda funny story where no one was hurt an rightly could have been😇
Posted by Krista | October 9, 2015, 5:17 amI can’t believe more people are not commenting on the fact it says (former male model) under his picture.
Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2015, 5:27 pmNo effing way. Nobody has that much fun
Posted by Jacob braik | March 16, 2016, 6:35 amI wonder if the poodle ever competed again?
Posted by Farkle | March 27, 2016, 4:49 pmThis person is realky crazy needs to be put away from the population
Posted by karen prater | March 29, 2016, 1:30 pmSo basically an episode of Trailer Park Boys. 😂😂😂😂
Posted by Munchy | August 31, 2016, 1:18 pmTransporting lab animals holy crapp what was he planning!
Posted by Don Mc Donald | September 3, 2016, 2:33 pmA must read. This is just hilarious. Dude is a big Food is. He is so stupid, he belongs in Jail. Lmfao.
Posted by Brandy | September 5, 2016, 12:52 amI lost it at the “GOLDEN DONG” restaurant. ..
Posted by PhatAzz Custom Trikes | September 5, 2016, 3:54 pmThis guy is just a mess! Wow!
Posted by Abe Turany | September 7, 2016, 5:20 pmLab animals? Really? Wild mice?
Posted by Anonymous | September 10, 2016, 1:44 pm