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Police Stop Leads To Bizarre Arrest

Three people remain in custody after being arrested on Saturday morning following a traffic stop in Canton. In what was described by Lt. Paul Sullivan as “the most bizarre traffic stop” that he has seen in his 23 years on the force, Canton police responded to a report of a disabled vehicle traveling on Route 95. They came across the vehicle shortly after 2 a.m. traveling in the high-speed lane on the southbound side.

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Former male model Francis Fasher of Foxboro was arrested and charged with DUI.

“We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle,” said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. “After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself.”

After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.

“There were also two female passengers in the back seat,” stated Lt. Sullivan. “One of the females was asleep, partially clad. The other was extremely hysterical. At that time, we believed that she might have been under the influence of PCP, due to the fact that she claimed there were mice biting at her and climbing on her.”

Because of the size of the two women, police were unable to pull the women out of the rear doors of the vehicle. After members of the Canton Rescue Squad cut the roof off the vehicle, and with the help of a crane supplied by Shaugnessy Crane, the women were lifted out of the car. Police estimate the weight of each woman was between 300 and 450 pounds.

Shortly after being extracted from the vehicle, the two women began arguing with each other and blows were thrown. At that point, police arrested 17-year-old Tina “Pebbles” Zonfrelli of Foxboro and 56-year-old Donna Dyers of Lynn.

“We followed the drag marks and found that the axle and tires had separated from the vehicle some four miles back. The axle, wheels and tires were found in the parking lot of the Ancient Lounge located in Foxboro,” stated Canton police officer James C. West. “At this time we believe that the three individuals had patronized the Ancient Lounge for the better part of the day, and that at closing time, they decided to continue the party at Mr. Fasher’s apartment.”

Upon entering the vehicle, the combined weight of the occupants caused the axle and wheels to separate from the vehicle.

“It is unbelievable that an individual could drive over four miles and not realize that there were no rear tires on the car,” says West.

During the search of the vehicle, police came up with an unexpected find.

“The interior of the vehicle was very messy. There were beer cans, food wrappers, rib bones, and other rubbish in the car. Under the driver’s seat we found a nest of mice. I guess she did see a mouse,” West chuckled.

Police charged Fasher with driving while intoxicated, indecent exposure, urinating in public, disturbing the peace, failure to stay in marked lanes, destruction of public property, assaulting a police officer, driving an unregistered motor vehicle, driving an uninsured motor vehicle, non-payment of child support, public intoxication, evading police, passengers not wearing seat belts, transporting lab animals without proper permits and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

“We’ve been after this guy for quite some time,” said West. “Mr. Fasher is well known to us. He is a renowned transvestite, and he’s been arrested a number of times for prostitution. In June of 1998, he was arrested six times in one week. In fact, three of those arrests occurred on one day.”

Fasher faces a number of complaints from business owners in Canton and charges have been filed against him by a number of citizens in the community. Four people have filed civil-damage lawsuits against him after their private property was damaged by Fasher. One person has alleged that he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.

Jimmy Chan, owner of Golden Dong China Restaurant claims that he assaulted an employee and caused damages to his establishment.

“He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”

James Marathos, owner of Marathos Carpets, alleges that he found Fasher sleeping in his store when he opened up for business one morning three weeks ago.

“He broke in through the back door and passed out right here,” said Marathos, pointing out the spot. “I threw him out but later I discovered that he had urinated all over our entire Persian rug collection, and I ended up with a cleaning bill for $2,600.”

Fasher is scheduled to appear in Norfolk County District Court on Monday morning.

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Discussion

316 thoughts on “Police Stop Leads To Bizarre Arrest

  1. “One person has alleged that he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.”

    That totally made this blog entry.

    Posted by Jefftheman45 | June 27, 2008, 5:27 am
  2. Is this all true?

    Posted by Kathy | November 30, 2012, 10:31 am
  3. That picture you have is not of a 45 year old former transvestite Male model. That is a well known actor, cannot remember his name and he is in his late sixties or seventies. He was in Men in Black. Better hurry up and fix it before you end up being sued by him.

    Posted by Shay Dunne | November 30, 2012, 11:16 am
  4. Oh my shit this guy had a crazy ass night!

    Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 12:13 pm
  5. He needs to be placed in a locked unit where he “may” be able to get help.

    Posted by Keep It Real | November 30, 2012, 3:19 pm
  6. Wow that is so crazy I feel so much better about myself God bless him those 2 women”

    Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 4:08 pm
  7. I was tickled by “transporting lab animals without proper permits”

    Posted by Cathy Thomson-Langworthy | November 30, 2012, 4:37 pm
  8. this has to be a joke

    Posted by Mark Cohen | November 30, 2012, 7:08 pm
  9. very interesting story, however i am appauled on the way you quoted the chinese restuarant owner..You are gathering information and reporting to the public on what goes on in our communities but you DO NOT have to belittle someone in how they speak. Go back and read what you wrote and how you said it…you should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AND I’M SURPRISED THEY LET YOU PUBLISH SOMETHING LIKE THAT…you really need to appologize to the family and to the readers ..sincerely an DISGUSTED READER

    Posted by cassandra moore | November 30, 2012, 7:44 pm
    • Shut up, Cassandra.

      Posted by Necrotizing Fasciitis | December 1, 2012, 11:13 pm
      • That is exactly what I was going to say. Well said, sir.

        Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 10:08 am
      • Yes Cassandra shut up. What if it were verbatim. Who are we to implant words that aren’t there.

        Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 12:28 pm
      • Cassandra if you can’t speak the kings English you deserve to be made fun of, horse whipped, deported, and have to French kiss Mr. Fashler.

        Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 2:38 am
      • Historically, when people say “Shut up Cassandra” very very bad happen.

        Posted by Marya | December 5, 2012, 4:06 pm
      • Just what I was thinking, Marya.

        Posted by patsouthward | January 2, 2013, 2:15 am
    • It was a quote. A direct quote. Quotes are the exact words of the people who speak them. Get a grip, Cassie.

      Posted by Ruby | December 1, 2012, 11:15 pm
      • I might disagree, Ruby. When I read quotes from the Los Angeles Times the reporter adds the correct words in parenthesis. You see this a lot in quotes of athletes. I believe it would have been more responsible for the reporter to do this. To be honest with you, I question the authenticity of the whole story. Where did he get the pu-pu? Also, it doesn’t sound like he lives is an area where there is an abundance of award winning french poodles.

        Posted by johnny o | December 2, 2012, 8:30 am
      • No, it isn’t. Notice the “Satire” tag? The restaurant owner isn’t being quoted because he doesn’t exist. The author made it up. It’s a parody of a stereotype.

        Posted by oezlum | December 6, 2012, 11:58 am
      • Actually the Chinese restuarant owner is a real guy and that’s a real resturant. But it’s not the Ancient lounge, it’s the Ancient MARINER. It’s in the heart of Foxboro and Canton is NORTH of Foxboro so it doesn’t male sense that he was travelling southbound if he was comming from the Ancient Mariner, especially if he was supposedly heady towards his house in Foxborough. And as for this Tina chick, she would have been in my grade if she went to Foxboro High at this time and I’ve never heard of her. I’m not exactly sure how true this story is.

        Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:22 pm
      • Just clarifying that I meant the deal about the Ancient Mariner to be separate from talking about Mr Chan’s resturant. I don’t want people to think I was referring to the Ancient Mariner as Mr Chan’s resturant. And he really does talk like that :P

        Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:28 pm
    • Quotes are just that QUOTES! If he said it like that it has to be printed like that. Your and idiot. That’s my Quote!

      Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 11:21 am
      • YOU’RE* an idiot

        Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 5:53 pm
      • It’s not a quote. This is a satirical article, as you can tell by the “satire” tag. He didn’t really say that because he does not exist, it’s a parody of a stereotype in a humor article. Also, *you’re *an

        Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 11:55 am
    • You are right, Cassandra. The reporter did not have to directly quote the restaurant owner, thereby implicitly mocking his English. He could have simply described what the man said, i.e. “When denied more beer by the owner, he threw a pu-pu platter at the waitress.” There’s probably a few commenters here whose English could also be mocked.

      Posted by Morison53 | December 2, 2012, 1:55 pm
    • If that’s how he said it, that’s how he should write it. That’s how quotes work.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 3:45 pm
      • WELL NOW WE KNOW HE IS CHINESE. IT PUT CHARACTOR TO THE STORY.JUST LIKE REAL LIFE ,YOU COULD SAY NOW YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WHERE THERE.

        Posted by Julie Leach | October 1, 2013, 9:12 pm
    • Get a life Cassandra!
      That was the funniest part!

      Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 4:54 pm
      • Why don’t you get a life or get educated. In this world some of the dumbest things turns certain people on, guess you are one of them! Don’t ever forget everyone of us are inheritors of immigrants.

        Posted by BMC | December 11, 2012, 11:44 am
    • The only thing appalling (you’re allowed to use spell-check, by the way) is your complete lack of a sense of humor.

      Posted by JD | December 2, 2012, 5:32 pm
    • Cassandra, I’m disgusted by your post. You should learn to spell before writing anything in public.

      Posted by anonymous | December 3, 2012, 1:14 pm
    • I am truly disgusted by YOUR post, Cassandra. “Appauled” is not a word. Chinese is always capitalized. “Appologize” does not have two p’s. You really need to learn to spell, and apologize to the world before writing in public.

      Posted by kcaf0624 | December 3, 2012, 1:17 pm
      • If you’re going to critique someones spelling… be thorough! Cassandra also misspelled RESTAURANT!

        Posted by CJGB4908 | December 6, 2012, 12:55 pm
    • Cassandra, he was “quoted” that way because that’s obviously how the business owner talks… and thats what you do when you “quote” someone. Now news reporters are supposed to re-write how poeple talk? Your comment is a small example of everything that is wrong with this country right now. Get over it.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 3:32 pm
      • The story is fake dumbass. The golden dong restaurant? And no editor would ever let a quotation like that appear, they would paraphrase.

        Oh, and there is no Norfolk county in Ohio.

        FAKE

        Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 1:55 pm
      • Massachusetts

        Posted by Bobby Bou | December 15, 2012, 9:32 pm
    • If he is quoting someone, shouldn’t he quote them word for word? That is what they are supposed to do. Give what is said and not what they interpret. Proper journalism should be this way.

      Posted by David Quintana | December 3, 2012, 6:00 pm
    • Oh shut up.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 6:03 pm
    • You are the epitome of the soccer-mom cliche that is responsible for the pussification of America.

      Posted by KC | December 3, 2012, 9:09 pm
      • No fair- I am a soccer mom and do not subscribe in any way to any pussifucation!
        Quote on and let the words fall where they may!

        Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 7:41 am
    • Ugh somebody needs a cranberry juice …

      Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 7:09 pm
      • He didn’t “do” an abundance of prize-winning French poodles. It only takes one. Is there a secret neighborhood where they keep “an abundance of Prize-winning French poodles?” LOVE the article, btw..

        Posted by Dahnä Moody Brown | December 5, 2012, 1:40 pm
    • Your argument is irrelevant. Read the title of the publication and check out some of the other stories. I think you’ll find that this is fiction.

      Posted by Lauren | December 4, 2012, 7:57 pm
    • When you are reporting and you use a quote you have to keep that quote word for word. They are not trying to offend or belittle anyone.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 12:41 am
    • Cass,
      How do your children like “no-out” tee ball? Everyone gets a trophy!!!

      Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:33 am
    • Look at the date, June 23, 2008. This looks like it’s been around for awhile. Google the name and the only thing that comes up is this page.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:35 pm
    • Cassandra, that was my thought also. How callous. I’m sure he speaks much better English than the writer speaks Chinese!

      Posted by Maura Cramer | December 6, 2012, 4:18 pm
    • Ms Moore
      You DO realize this is a satire site, don’t you? If it disgusts you, do not read it any further. But if you do, and in the course of doing so decide to comment again…please learn to spell and punctuate correctly. Oh, and a refresher course in English grammar wouldn’t hurt, either.

      Posted by Blindan Nekkid | December 6, 2012, 10:11 pm
    • A very interesting story?! First of all, it’s fake. Second, this is the Internet. People are allowed to post anything they want (see pr0n). Recognize humor when you see it and lighten up.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 1:45 am
    • Reporting to the public? First of all, it’s fake. Second, this is the Internet. People are allowed to post anything they want (see pr0n). Recognize humor when you see it and lighten up.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 1:51 am
      • At first, I was afraid it was Canton, Texas, and I was going to beg my niece to move. So glad it is fake. But, it is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. But, even funnier, are the comments. People, ya’ll are hysterical!!! Thanks to each of you for making me laugh until tears rolled, especially ya’ll who commented on the french poodle.

        Posted by Patty | October 4, 2013, 12:51 am
    • the reporter is obviously just quoting the chinese guy, thats how he told his story, its a quote!! calm urself! you sound like you voted for Oboma! figures

      Posted by scott | December 7, 2012, 12:55 pm
      • Scott you are a dumbass mother fucker! I get really angry when ppl like you wanna bring politics into it. How does voting for Obama have anything to do with this article? Oh wait, that’s right, you are ignorant and having a successful black man as President of the U.S.A. is a problem. Lighten the fuck up and shut up. Ugh! I’m disgusted. It’s 2012. Get over it. Your mother should have swallowed you Scott.

        Posted by wtf! | December 9, 2012, 2:01 pm
      • God you’re an idiot. The story is fake. There is no Norfolk county in Ohio. And the tags at the top say “comedy” and “satire”.

        And Cassandra is right , btw. No editor would allow a quotation like that. They would have paraphrased the owner’s statement. You know, the owner of the GOLDEN DONG?

        idiot

        Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 2:02 pm
    • Aw it was funny! Just admit it. I cackled all the way through it.

      Posted by Shari Rhodes | October 3, 2013, 11:30 pm
    • What if that is how he actually spoke?

      Posted by Jason P. Lamoureux | October 7, 2013, 11:41 am
    • Watch out you bitchie to much they throw poo-poo platter at you

      Posted by Fred | October 8, 2013, 3:47 pm
    • Kasandra,
      you one vewy dum beatch! We Chinese fok know exaquey what we takkin abot. Nefer make mestake. Sewiously, yu very stupid puson…go ahead and put yoself out of misery now before too late, or call me if want to get sakki.
      luv yu,
      Chen Long Dong

      Posted by Anonymous | October 8, 2013, 4:07 pm
    • It was prolly a fake story to begin with. Calm down and don’t believe everything u read on the internet! But I shouldnt have to tell you that!

      Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2013, 8:35 pm
  10. First of all, wow, he’s only 45? Secondly, I totally thought that was Rip Torn

    Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 8:39 pm
  11. The story did not need to be told to this level… with the police appearing to “mock” those arrested. Have some class. Some folks have tough lives, have mental deficiencies as well as drug problems. Simply reporting the facts was all that was necessary. The police officer should be reprimanded for his derogatory comments.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2012, 9:03 pm
    • The police did not write the article, the columnist did. The police officer should be reprimanded for his derogatory comments? How about being applauded for finally getting this scumbag off the streets…wow, what a skewered way to look at that story.

      Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 10:05 pm
      • The story is fake. I’m glad you feel safer that a fictional person isn’t on the street anymore

        Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 2:03 pm
    • You appear to be on the same Mental level as him. You frigging empty headed jackhole, this person didnt do this because they had a bad childhood. Get a grip, what if that was your poodle he was riding like sea biscuit on your front lawn? You make liberals sound bad , shut your pie hole

      Posted by andrew | December 2, 2012, 1:40 pm
      • All fun and games until your family member gets killed when he’s in the passing lane on the highway with no rear axle.

        Posted by andrew | December 2, 2012, 1:42 pm
      • Andrew, you’re killing me!! Almost wet my pants over sea biscuit comment!! Whoops! I did!

        Posted by Sirius | December 4, 2012, 9:40 pm
    • Ugh somebody needs a tampon …

      Posted by Nerd | December 4, 2012, 7:11 pm
    • Can you believe that the New York Times would print this?!?!

      Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:37 am
  12. I know where I won’t be buying any rugs.

    Posted by JD | November 30, 2012, 9:20 pm
  13. wow Glad to say I am not related to that mess !!! Geez !!!

    Posted by Deb Reed Healy | November 30, 2012, 9:20 pm
  14. Lt Paul Sullivan deserves a metal for catching that scum bag , i love all those charges,(transporting lab animals w/o permit) belly aches, hooray Lt Paul Sullivan ty

    Posted by dave johnson | November 30, 2012, 10:32 pm
  15. Francis sure does party hard.. Way too hard in fact..

    Posted by Ryan | December 1, 2012, 3:23 am
  16. Bish this is hilarious!

    Posted by BISH | December 1, 2012, 4:11 am
  17. Is there any truth to this story at all?

    Posted by S | December 1, 2012, 8:18 am
    • Yes there is.
      The towns cited are all real Massachusetts towns.
      …but I think that’s it :P

      Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 4:43 am
    • Well Foxboro is real. But Canton is north of Foxboro so it makes no sense that he was comming from Foxboro and heading to his appartment in the same town. yet he was heading southbound on 95. And the “Ancient Lounge” is actually called The Ancient Mariner, it’s near the center of Foxboro and it’s a dump.

      Posted by Foxborough Resident | December 8, 2012, 6:33 pm
      • Here and I thought it would be a classy place.

        Posted by patsouthward | January 2, 2013, 2:21 am
      • I love reading this.It pops up on my Facebook oicasconally and it just makes my day to see what the Wingo family is learning, doing, living. Love your random posts.Hope you’re doing well. I miss all you guys!Alyssa

        Posted by Lorena | January 9, 2013, 7:01 pm
      • Did U Forget He was Wasted and on PCP People Go the Wrong Way All the Time Straight?

        Posted by Anonymous | October 6, 2013, 9:55 am
  18. This has to be a spoof….right?

    Posted by Moe | December 1, 2012, 9:20 am
  19. He’s 45!? I thought he was 70 or so. Headline didn’t lie – crazy.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 9:57 am
  20. My favorite part was ” he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!” Too bad the picture is of RipTorn…

    Posted by Cat B | December 1, 2012, 10:06 am
  21. Is this a joke newspaper because this is very obviously a fake story.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 10:58 am
  22. This is a hoax. The pic above is of Rip Torn the actor

    Posted by Brian | December 1, 2012, 11:29 am
  23. transporting lab animals without a permit…lol….they want this guy to do time bad…lol

    Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 12:50 pm
  24. The guy looks like a disheveled Joe Biden.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 1, 2012, 2:51 pm
  25. if he is really as bad as this article says he is then why wasn’t he put in jail a long time ago? makes you wonder how many of these story’s are in fact made up by the writers.

    Posted by ellen | December 1, 2012, 3:43 pm
  26. The facebook post shows a picture of Rip Torn, but when you click on the article itself, there is a picture of somebody else.

    Posted by g | December 1, 2012, 4:15 pm
  27. American Horror Story, Asylum!

    Posted by Lori Jacolucci | December 1, 2012, 4:56 pm
    • * This is not remotely true. But it is absolutely hilarious. The picture is from a Welsch newspaper article of Rip Torn, the part about this guy being named Frances Fasher (former male model), CLASSIC! – And to everyone who was “outraged” at the fake, direct quote from the Asian gentleman, it would be fake Libel to misquote a fake interview and you wouldn’t want to get fake sued over the fake context. Had half of Abington, MA believing this was real. It is the 3rd time this rumor was sprouted (Gary Cooper, Rip Torn previously). Peace!

      Posted by BrandonJamesCAC | December 1, 2012, 9:57 pm
  28. How about looking up the definition of the word “satire,” folks?

    Posted by Cairine Clay | December 1, 2012, 7:45 pm
  29. Now this is a guy who is completely embracing his self-destruction.

    Posted by Jason Tiggle | December 1, 2012, 10:50 pm
  30. i just joined this group yesterday – however i never expected stories like this
    so i will be opting out

    Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 6:45 am
  31. At the top of the page it is labeled under satire, comedy, dog sex etc. Come on people, you will believe anything.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 2, 2012, 10:53 am
  32. This is so fake I can’t stand it.

    Posted by Chris | December 2, 2012, 10:59 am
  33. Hahahahaha!!

    Posted by Dad | December 2, 2012, 2:45 pm
  34. You mean that if you put two fat girls in the back seat of a car, that the wheels and axle will fall off? Come on. Really?

    Posted by Ron Gage | December 2, 2012, 3:51 pm
  35. This guy makes me look like a saint and my misdeeds look like good deeds!

    Posted by Mike Fleming | December 2, 2012, 10:29 pm
  36. If you’re looking for a great deal on a used Hyundai, or some almost new Persian rugs, get in touch.

    Posted by Jeff | December 3, 2012, 9:24 am
  37. Is this really a true story? If you look at the top of the article, the word “satire” appears”. A friend of mine pointed this out to me.

    Posted by David | December 3, 2012, 10:02 am
  38. Who cares if its fake? It’s hilarious!

    If you’re so concerned with whats real and whats not then why didn’t you stop reading @ the satire label?

    Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 6:06 pm
  39. That is not rip torn people seriously? Get a friggin clue and Cassandra is an uptight stuck up everything that’s wrong with America snob

    Posted by Anonymous | December 3, 2012, 9:13 pm
  40. I want to see the picture of him dressed in drag…

    Posted by TheCracken | December 3, 2012, 9:35 pm
  41. OMG if this story is real..I loved it.The funniest story ever!!!
    Cassandra get over it…
    Canton police officers are the best!!!

    Posted by Karen | December 4, 2012, 10:23 am
  42. i am so in the dark on this one; it was’t the story that bothered me it was the coments i gess thats free speach.justmepatty

    Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 12:51 pm
  43. Anyone else find this article hilarious simply for the transcript of the chinese restaurant owner? You couldn’t neaten that up at all?? hahaha

    Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 1:16 pm
  44. I wonder if the poodle returned the favor? Why did the person watch him doing the dog,I would have did him w/a baseball bat !!!I think he should pay for the poor dogs therapy !This should have been a You Tube special! Just cause it’s on here doesn’t make it real,some ppl will do anything for attention !!! Just saying!!

    Posted by Reality | December 4, 2012, 1:34 pm
  45. True or not, I laughed until a little wee came out and dropped a Pu Pu Platter. Irony huh?

    Posted by Nick Gall | December 4, 2012, 3:00 pm
  46. Crazy people.

    Posted by g l keane | December 4, 2012, 3:43 pm
  47. Wow, your all idiots. Between the snide, disrespectful remarks about the store owner and the critisizm about the author, and the disregard for the actual story, you’ve all gone round the bend. I won’t ever read another story on this site as long as you are all on it. Really obnoxious.

    Posted by Someone you'll never get to meet, thank god | December 4, 2012, 4:29 pm
  48. Looks like “the hangover” will be a trilogy after they catch wind of the wild night these guys had!! this story is too awesome to NOT be told!

    Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 8:03 pm
  49. Ho-ley shit, wow….then again…I’ve seen a few characters like that on the westside…LOL

    Posted by Anonymous | December 4, 2012, 9:55 pm
  50. One of the tags is satire. There is your answer.. FAKE, well written and clever humor. but fake indeed

    Posted by It's Me Alright | December 5, 2012, 12:15 am
  51. Oh, so many of you have debased this beautifully written satire defending make-believe Chinese men, the reliability of the Hyundai, and your own stupidity. Bobby Bou- creating such an epic controversy makes you even hotter now.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:46 am
  52. Oh, so many of you have debased this beautifully written satire defending make-believe Chinese men, the reliability of the Hyundai, and your own stupidity. Bobby Bou- creating such an epic controversy makes you even hotter now.

    Posted by anonymous | December 5, 2012, 10:54 am
  53. There is nobody by the name of Francis Fasher in MA.. I know. This is bullshit.

    Posted by Adam Strang | December 5, 2012, 11:06 am
  54. alright everyone….look at the tags..last one, satire. answer everyones questions on the authenticity on this? god.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 11:48 am
  55. Rip Torn livesn my town, I know him personally and that IS NOT him!

    Posted by that is NOT Rip Torn! | December 5, 2012, 12:44 pm
  56. I don’t think I have ever been so fully and completely entertained by a news article in my entire life

    Posted by Cindy | December 5, 2012, 2:00 pm
  57. Lmao I AM SO GLAD I DON’T HAVE A FRENCH POODLE CUZ MY ROTWEILER WOULDVE HAD HIM INSTEAD!

    Posted by Michele | December 5, 2012, 2:33 pm
  58. Well, your all idiots? That’s an oxymoron

    Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 3:52 pm
  59. The fact that you all clearly need to be told that none of this is true is a little depressing.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 5, 2012, 5:12 pm
  60. Am I the only one who sees irony in people posting comments stating how they can’t believe people have nothing better to do than comment.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 9:29 am
  61. the reason they couldn’t get the heffers out of the car is that Hyudais have no frame. They have a unibody which is the floor basicly holding the car together. Having 700lbs in the back with no axle and dragging for 4 miles bent the car enough that the back doors would not open. The fire dep. goes through the roof because its faster and a lot bigger. Me go now

    Posted by autoAL | December 6, 2012, 9:50 am
  62. My Favorite part of this article is the pic that says “FORMER MALE MODEL” HAHAHA I laughed for 5 minutes straight!

    Posted by Brandy | December 6, 2012, 11:07 am
  63. “…he had sex with her prize-winning French poodle in her backyard.”
    Ewww! Those are going to be some ugly puppies.

    Posted by Steve Hatley | December 6, 2012, 11:50 am
  64. Apparently 90% of this comment section didn’t notice the “satire” tag. It’s funny because it’s NOT true, guys. There’s no need to be worried about the people or the poodle or the parody of a stereotypical Chinese restaurant owner.

    Posted by oezlum | December 6, 2012, 12:04 pm
  65. I’m surprised no one has commented on that fact that he is a ‘former male model’.?????

    Posted by DLK | December 6, 2012, 12:19 pm
  66. Also “bizarre” only has one “z”.

    Posted by Heh | December 6, 2012, 12:44 pm
  67. Hahaha. Fantastic.

    Posted by Ryan Murtha | December 6, 2012, 1:20 pm
  68. “transporting lab animals without proper permits ”
    What happend to the LAB Animals?

    Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 3:46 pm
  69. Haha nothing like hopping on TWO grenades. Jiggle jiggle

    Now I’m calling my friend his a canton cop to ask if this is true.

    Posted by K Laham | December 6, 2012, 4:37 pm
  70. Is the name of the bar in Foxboro from Coleridge’s “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner?” An albatross figures prominently in that epic poem.

    Posted by Tris Dammin | December 6, 2012, 4:50 pm
  71. i can see by his picture why he was a male modal

    Posted by spike | December 6, 2012, 5:15 pm
  72. this is the best thing I have read in my life…the details,the inuendos…Oh god. Cassandra loosen up!! And that is NOT Rip Torn!!!!Not Rip Torn morons

    Posted by Anonymous | December 6, 2012, 6:16 pm
  73. I love the part that mentions the trash including “rib bones” in the veihicle. No car is complete without rib bones.

    Posted by Lisa Reed-Miarecki | December 6, 2012, 7:02 pm
  74. Its the cricket u idiots, nothing on this news sight is true, its made to make u laugh… If thought this was true, you’re whats wrong with this country.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 7, 2012, 12:19 am
  75. First day with your new eyes people? Stop saying this is Rip Torn. It simply is not. Google him, do whatever you have to do but for God’s sake stop saying it’s Rip!!

    Posted by wethepipl | December 7, 2012, 1:12 am
  76. So, so we still think closing down all those State Hospitals was a good idea?

    Posted by Tarara Boumdier | December 7, 2012, 10:16 am
  77. Reblogged this on Fueled Rants and commented:
    Within the beloved four walls of the local IHOP, the men from my church and I shared a laugh at this article. This should make your day!

    Posted by McCracken Love | December 7, 2012, 5:13 pm
  78. Um, wow! I cannot believe the level of stupidness in some of these posts. Some of you should really watch the movie “Idiocracy” then take a good look in a mirror. Your inability to realize this is a completely made up story for the sole purpose of fictional humor is astonishing. I find it hilarious how people randomly throw their two cents out there complaining about how the fictional “Chinese” guy was quoted, or how the police officer should be reprimanded for his comments and even better yet how the police were wrong for belittling this man due to his “possible bad child hood, mental health problems or drug usage”. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that any of the above people who have made thoughtless comments are so unaware of the humor in this story. Your ridiculously, facetious attempt to try and infect the rest of us with your lack knowledge and thoughtless nonsense is entertaining. Thank you.

    Posted by Jessie | December 8, 2012, 11:25 am
  79. I bet Rip torn was just throwing confetti all over those fat girls eating ribs and dragging ass all the way.I bet he had that mouse in his pocket so he had to take his panty boys off.The stuff about the Poodle,well ,they shouldent of had it out in the yard like that being a show dog, and all.a man has to do what a man has to do at times like that.and I for one, am glad he broke the pupu plater .I have done worse at my last camp out .I get off probation next month.

    Posted by john fox | December 8, 2012, 8:26 pm
  80. This story is completely fake. THERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY IN OHIO! As soon as I read that the name of the restaurant was the “Golden Dong” i knew it was fake.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 1:50 pm
  81. THERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY NEAR CANTON. IN FACT, THERE IS NO NORFOLK COUNTY IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO. fakefakefakefakefake

    Seriously people, “The Golden Dong Restaurant” didn’t tip you off?

    It’s on that interweb, Ethel. It must be true.

    Dummies.

    Posted by DAvo | December 11, 2012, 1:53 pm
  82. Mr. Fasher is getting a bum rap. Public urination indeed. If you can’t wet yourself in the privacy of your own vehicle, then the terrorists have won.

    Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 2:27 pm
  83. Moral of the story only get into 4 door vehicles???? Lol

    Posted by Anonymous | December 11, 2012, 5:50 pm
  84. The Daily Cricket is an actual news site! But haw many stories in The Enquirer are true! Could be – Could not be!

    Posted by Anonymous | December 12, 2012, 10:05 am
  85. I can guarantee all ovomit supporters

    Posted by avg joe | September 30, 2013, 1:29 pm
  86. Some men just want to watch the world burn… God, I feel like this guy and others like him should be sent to George Carlins vision of a huge prison – island with all of the drugs they want and all the freedoms they want to be left to their own devices and do as they wish…. except that it’s all televised.

    Posted by Your Dad | October 2, 2013, 9:03 am
  87. “He drink all morning,” said Chan. “He get crazy. I tell him no more beer for you and he throw Pu-Pu platter at waitress. He a very bad man. He broke very expensive mirror!”

    This just put me in tears! Hahahaha

    Posted by Anonymous | October 2, 2013, 10:58 am
  88. Was this a front wheel drive car? Else, how could it drive 5 miles with the rear axle and wheels missing?

    Posted by anonymous | October 2, 2013, 2:09 pm
  89. Omg lol. Better call Sol.

    Posted by Walt | October 2, 2013, 4:42 pm
  90. Yo stay strong dude! don’t the police get you down! you do you boo boo! you do you!

    Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 10:44 am
  91. Why is the fact that he is a transvestite relevant? Didn’t think that was illegal.

    Posted by Anonymous | October 3, 2013, 1:31 pm
  92. I was stuck in the traffic due to these drunk cows… cranes all over the place!

    Posted by Drunk Prick | October 3, 2013, 10:51 pm
  93. The moral of the story? Never buy a Hyundai Elantra.

    Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 4:44 am
  94. The only thing missing from this story is a Kardashian.

    Posted by Steev | October 4, 2013, 11:37 am
  95. no way this story is true

    Posted by Anonymous | October 4, 2013, 12:15 pm
  96. I clicked on the “Dog Sex” tag and this is the only story that came up!? What the F! You guys will never be considered a top news website until you have a wider selection of bestiality stories, in my humble dog-sex-loving opinion.

    Posted by Clark McFandrich | October 4, 2013, 3:04 pm
  97. Too bad he peed on the rug. It really tied the room together.

    Posted by Anonymous | October 5, 2013, 12:15 am
  98. I don’t get how the vehicle went so far up the road with no rear end. Not to mention all the 600 to 700 pounds in he back seat. Really don’t know how it even moved… Was some great front wheel drive there hahaha I loved the comments and the story

    Posted by Richard Dennis | October 5, 2013, 2:54 pm
  99. The paper is like The Onion. Are you all really that ignorant?

    Posted by Rose Selavy | October 6, 2013, 6:37 pm
  100. I AM STILL LOL SO MUCH IT’S HARD TO TYPE. HOWEVER, Why did the Police have to tack on so many ridiculous extra charges. There is a low against stacking charges in Alabama. Why go nuts like the perps did? As Sgt Friday used to say: “Just the facts mam, just the facts.”

    Posted by Charles | October 6, 2013, 8:44 pm
  101. Oh wow..I bet that police officer had a lot to talk about at dinner that night..lol

    Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2013, 2:05 am
  102. The satirical article has some humor to it. Really insane humor. No, it is not very factual although based in Boston suburbia. What is most disturbing is the total naivette of people commenting on the article ‘as if’ it’s true! C’mon America, really?

    Posted by Bill B | October 7, 2013, 10:41 pm
  103. “Transporting lab animals without proper permits?” WTF kind of charge is that? Doe they mean the mice or the fat chicks?

    Posted by Anonymous | October 9, 2013, 4:17 am
  104. Well, I bet he makes one lovely transvestite!!!!!

    Posted by Susan Blackwood Hunt | October 10, 2013, 4:57 pm
  105. Holy Crap! I spent 31 years as a State Trooper, and never had anything close to this bizarre!!!

    Posted by ken | October 10, 2013, 9:23 pm
  106. Does anyone see uner his picture it says Fasher former male model lmao! Great read! He had 900 lbs of woman cut out of his back seat that broke his axle and tires off the back of his car! Pissed himself and thru a pu up platter at a waitress after drinking beer all day this guy is my hero!

    Posted by No one | October 10, 2013, 10:04 pm
  107. sienfeld party of 4?

    Posted by Anonymous | October 10, 2013, 10:46 pm
  108. He was charged with transporting lab animals without proper permit???? How is that possible? Because he had nice under his seat?

    Posted by Anonymous | October 10, 2013, 11:54 pm
  109. Read the tags under the headline, especially the one that says “satire.”

    Posted by timistheword | October 11, 2013, 10:08 am
  110. This from Shelley Isaacson. True story– Ben hope you don’t get any calls like this

    Posted by Anonymous | October 11, 2013, 9:37 pm
  111. story posted in 2008? old news, so why is it resurfacing now?. also filed under satire, leading me to think the events never actually happened–only in the mind of a comedian wanna be. nevertheless, thanks for the laughs five years after first post. laughter is the gift that keeps on giving. lol.

    Posted by byeteme | October 11, 2013, 11:48 pm
  112. Let me know if you get this.

    Posted by jane flatt | October 12, 2013, 9:31 pm
  113. This is too bizarre to be real, “The Golden Dong” really??? It is quite funny however!

    Posted by Jackie | October 14, 2013, 9:11 am
  114. Shame on you if you don’t recognize this as a complete fabrication. Just sayin.

    Posted by Anonymous | October 14, 2013, 6:57 pm
  115. the fact that out of everyone who has read this article not one of you have seen the Robin Williams and Tim Robbins movie “Cadillac Man” astounds me…. the line “no more beer for you” being yelled by a Chinese person is one of the funniest lines in the movie…. I’m surprise they tried to pass that line off as is it wasn’t stole from the movie… and I’m even more surprised that I’m the only one who caught it…

    Posted by Christopher | October 15, 2013, 1:59 am
  116. Apparently, Canton does have more than just First-Monday and a truck stop

    Posted by Anonymous | October 15, 2013, 9:14 am
  117. What a fucking menace!

    Posted by T | October 16, 2013, 6:12 pm
  118. I feel bad for his Kid’ they said he neglects to pay his Child Support Also I believe this to be all true’ I dont think he traveled four (4) miles with Fatty’s in the back of his Vehichle though and 4 one of them to be under the drinking age OMG she needs to loose some Freakin weight, and what I do know is its a fact that if Police think they can get away with a charge on someone that is not totally relevant, then they will try it, wtf are you gonna do but go to court and fight against it, Its a fact that you cannot do shit but to fight against it your gonna win or loose… They dont give a shit !!!

    Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 3:09 am
  119. Hey, don’t pee on the rug, man!

    Posted by Anonymous | October 18, 2013, 7:12 pm
  120. Hey, don’t pee on the rug, man!!

    Posted by Kampbell | October 18, 2013, 7:16 pm
  121. kmsl dumbass shudda stuk to burgers n fries

    Posted by Dutch De Kok | October 21, 2013, 5:15 pm
  122. That is the funniest story i ever read…the chinese guy part is the best..

    Posted by mozavelli | October 24, 2013, 7:56 am
  123. What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I enjoyed this post.
    It was helpful. Keep on posting!

    Posted by プーマ シューズ 専門店 | October 30, 2013, 9:23 pm

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